How L.A. Is Becoming A Gate To Hell

I lived in Los Angeles for about 5 years. Before I moved there I remember hearing about a big car chase almost every week, some lunatic in a stolen coupe flying down the 5 with a swarm of blue and red lights in tow.

In L.A. STORY the only classic Steve-Martin-slapstick scene is the one where it's declared gun season on the freeway and everybody starts shooting at each other from their cars.

And while I lived there I saw some shit - there was the jewelry robbery that happened down the street from my work in Beverly Hills (which I discovered when I saw the suspects and a paper bag surrounded by cops on the curb at Brighton and Crescent); there was the shooting on the corner of Sunset and Wilcox, at my Staples, where some lunatic was finally terminated by LAPD after walking down Vine shooting randomers; there was the shotgun supposedly shot from a building around Hollywood and Vine; a few hit and runs; that publicist gunned down with the unfortunate fate of BURLESQUE being the last Hollywood film she'd ever see.

Notice I don't bring up any of the violence from south central because, let's be honest, very few outside south central know or, sadly, care about that. That's a whole different beast.

The thing is, all those random acts of violence were spread out over a few years. But ever since I left, it seems like one lunatic after another is shooting up Southern California. The natives are getting restless, the hopelessness is getting too heavy, and shit's hitting the fan with a vengeance.

Did you hear about the guy who got kidnapped and carjacked, forced to stop by some stores for his kidnappers and drop them at a strip club?

The college kid who went on a shooting rampage, firing blankly into the 55 Freeway in  the safest, most manufactured, most conservative county in Southern California, legendary Orange County itself.

Then there's the whole Dorner incident, an ex-LAPD gone mad, killing a few cops before running off to the mountains, causing a 200-person manhunt and culminating in a Hollywood-movie-quality shootout in a cabin.

And the thing is, this all just happened in the last 2 months. Even more, it didn't happen in the traditionally sketchy neighborhoods, Hollywood or South Central. It happened in places like the mountain resort town of Big Bear and Ladera Ranch, a bubble community known for being where white bread families can hide from the ugliness of the rest of SoCal, a community without even a proper bar.

California already has close to the toughest gun laws in America and is looking to make them officially the toughest in the nation. The problem is that, in spite of all everybody says and claims, tough gun laws aren't going to solve anything. Attacking the rising violence by making it hard to get guns is like trying to quell drug-based crimes by busting dealers. Supply side never works, whether you're talking about drugs or guns or economics.

The sick truth is that America, in spite of all our advancements and posturing, still has no comprehensive plan to address the real culprit behind these violent crimes in Southern California and beyond, the growing mental instability of the modern era. The most poignant and revealing article to come out of the Sandy Hook tragedy is "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother", an essay about how one woman's son is mentally unstable and for the most part gets marginalized by society and the national media that looks to point to the easy culprit of loose gun laws instead of getting into the much trickier issue of mental health.

Until we address the madness spreading through our nation, and, as I just pointed out, specifically through the L.A. greater metropole, we're grasping at straws.

But I can guarantee you this, until we do, things will get worse. Over the half-decade I was an Angeleno I felt a tectonic shift in sentiment and mental state. People seemed to get angrier. Crazier. More rundown and, as follows, more desperate. It's a tough world, no doubt. And until we address that and start a real national dialogue on the mental weight of being an American during these trying times, things will just get worse, gun laws or not.

And if this continues, L.A., filled with malcontents and crazies breaking under the hard sun and shuffling downtrodden down the cracked streets, peering over the hedges at what could be before returning to the roach-infested apartment of what is, could very well become the first gate to hell.

- Ryan

Current Affairs: A Thinking Man's Guide to Politics

It’s often said that the first term defines a President’s reelection chances and the second term defines their legacy. Needless to say, this can be for better or for worse.


Second Terms

One need only look back to Eisenhower’s move toward reason and demilitarization: LBJ’s second term that famously never was; Nixon’s downfall; Reagan’s Iran-Contra affair; Clinton and Lewinsky; and Bush II’s scramble to right the ship in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It begs the question of what we can expect from President Obama. Sure, Presidents typically rule from the center of their first term in something of a four year campaign to keep their seat for the next four years only to veer back to their respective wings (at least what we consider wings in the United States) to accomplish goals steeped in ideology. After all, there’s no political capital too precious to burn in a second term.

Lyndon Johnson famously said that those who support me early get access; those who support me late get good government. But for his shortcomings, not all his own, President Obama has given us good government. One can agree or disagree with his policies, but we’re largely devoid of the scandal racked administrations of yesterday’s Presidents.

We’re seeing a push on key policy initiatives such as gun control and immigration, which I will go into more depth below. We’ve already seen an attempt, albeit futile, at addressing the spending/revenue issue. In a perfect world, we would tackle in earnest our energy concerns, skyrocketing healthcare costs (as we await Obamacare), and campaign finance. The latter being, in my opinion, the crux of all the issues we face in America. I will save campaign finance for a separate entry.

This is to say nothing of critical foreign policy concerns, namely Syria and Iran, but also the region as a whole. The United States has taken the official stance of not intervening, with the exception of Libya, but what does that mean for our friends in Egypt, Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan as troop withdrawal continues? This is the primary foreign policy issue facing this administration and the reality is that I’m not sure anyone knows quite what to do. Arguments abound about the US decision to not step in to spare Mubarak, the hand-picked successor of the late Anwar Sadat. In other words a friend to the US, which around the world means someone who allows the US to remove that country’s resources whatever they may be, hire our own companies to do it, and sell it at a profit to other countries including the country from whence it came in exchange for a cut of the dough and some protection. It’s all very la cosa nostra with the US as the capo di tutti capi. But I digress, back to domestic issues for now.

Gun Control

I think it’s obvious that something will get done on gun control. New York passed their law and this is beginning to follow the lead of immigration laws around the country where states begin to take matters into their own hands as a result of inertia in Washington. Similar to immigration, this would create a patchwork of laws around the country and fails to convey a uniform message to Americans and folks around the world of where we stand on guns. It does nothing to dispel our reputation as a ‘gun culture’ and does everything to reinforce that we’re a nation divided; on everything. I’m more hopeful though and I think something meaningful will happen. It has to happen. But predictably there are arguments from pro-gun folks, the gun lobby (NRA has garnered 250,000 new members since Newtown), and those in Congress who are beholden to it. The most common argument you’re likely to hear is that people kill people, not guns -that these are deranged people acting in isolated incidents and they would find some other way to kill people. The reality, however, is that they don’t. They don’t find other ways. They do use guns. They do use assault style weapons with extended clips. They aren’t isolated incidents – Since 1960, of the 20 worst mass shootings in the world, 11 have occurred in the United States. Coincidence doesn’t cut it and neither does their argument. Get something done now, or it’s destined to float in procedural purgatory. While it may not always seem like it, the public does affect change. It’s on us to keep the conversation going and to continue to pressure our elected officials to act, because we have a tendency to forget quickly and drop the conversation and wait for something like Newtown to happen again to enrage us. Let’s hold out longer than they do.



Immigration

As for immigration, this has been on the agenda for years preceding President Obama. Perhaps no other President has been as ambiguous on immigration as Obama. Champion a nation of immigrants while simultaneously deporting folks in record numbers. Though, to be fair, I don’t jump on this paradox like others do and relish the hypocrisy. I understand that while many immigrants provide an economic and cultural boon to the United States, there are many who do our nation great harm and they must be dealt with accordingly, but humanely.

Immigration policies frequently stall and full on breakdowns have come to discourage reform advocates, but it’s gotten a lot more interesting politically following Obama’s reelection. Republican policies advanced in the campaign in 2008 were unabashedly anti-immigrant, which in our country is synonymous with Hispanic. In response, 60% of the Latino vote went to Obama. So what did Republicans do? They did what they always do: they doubled down. They got more vitriolic and more ethnocentric. They used threats both personal and legal to suppress voters. They waged full campaigns to keep these voters from the polls with fear tactics. The result: 65% of Latino voters went for Obama. Now, even Republicans can figure this out. They may argue that Obama’s reelection was not a mandate for higher taxes; it most certainly was for immigration reform. The Republicans have to do something; they need to do something; which is where we come back to my point about how immigration has gotten a lot more interesting politically. What was once seen largely as a policy goal that would be a huge feather in Obama’s cap that he would have to fight and claw to get from Republicans will now be something that Obama can give Republicans because there is one thing that trumps all else in Washington and that is reelection. Obama wants immigration reform for his legacy, Republicans want it because they need to get reelected and they know they can’t do so on a national scale without a bigger chunk of support from the Latino electorate.


Watch for immigration reform to get done and the next battle between Republicans and Democrats on this issue to be who pushed it through and who fought for more rights and protections for Latinos. A messaging battle.



Sequestration

For now, we have our hands full with sequestration; the threat of a self inflicted wound so drastic that we would never let it happen to ourselves, except that we’re about to do just that. We’re days away from automatic spending cuts so severe that the repercussions will be felt by all. While it’s politically unpalatable to suggest, I will anyway. In a way, I’m ok with these spending cuts. Why? Well, because people will be able to see the value of government. Not every program is wasted and abused and merely an employment program. That the 70,000 kids that will be removed from the educational program Head Start affects everyone. That is something we all have a stake in. Until now, the only time government gets noticed is when people look at their paycheck and see money deducted without thinking for a second about what it’s for. People don’t want to pay taxes but they want clean parks, paved roads, plowed streets, their trash picked up, safe neighborhoods, good schools, and competent health practitioners. They want fires put out, safe cars, well-trained teachers, after-school programs, clean air, clean water, large ice caps, shorelines free of oil and more yet they don’t want to pay for it.

Maybe with deep cuts to government programs, we’ll see how valuable they truly are. I think that’s what Republicans are actually afraid of because they’re not against massive cuts to government spending; they are against people recognizing even a shred of value in what the government provides. That is what shakes them to their core, because their ideology is based on a fiction that government is unnecessary and that everyone is John Galt and creates their own wealth and currency and was born in a log cabin they built themselves. And then there is reality.

Is there waste in government? Of course. Is there a spending problem in this country? Of course. Is there a problem with what people demand but don’t want to pay for it? Absolutely. I highlighted it above, and Republicans want to take a unilateral approach – cut spending. Again though, they’re not wrong, but to call letting tax cuts expire for the wealthiest segment of our population a tax hike and a massive compromise is patently false.

That said, the refrain by now is familiar. Both sides have to come to the table and compromise. I disagree. I would hold out. For too long have Democrats allowed Republicans to be obstinate and get their way because they throw a tantrum. Democrats have stayed above the fray for too long. Time to get dirty and let sequestration happen, promote it as Republicans getting exactly what they want – the spending cuts they yearn for and attribute ALL of the fallout to them as well. Show a direct cause and effect between the conservatives in this country – Republican and Democrat – getting what they want and what happens as a result.

Let this happen and then say now it’s time to get what we want – gun control and immigration reform. Now you’ve given Republicans a massive blow to society and taken ownership of two policy initiatives the American public desperately wants.

Worth a shot, but it won’t happen.

-Carl Marcs

Comfort's for Suckers

For many people, it seems, one of the great goals in life is to revel in peaceful, unending comfort. For some reason I've never understood the appeal in that. Humans weren't made to be comfortable. When you're too comfortable all of the time, the body starts to rot, the brain starts to soften, and a man's humanity, especially since we're separated from animals by little more than a curious mind that needs regular exploration and discovery, oozes out like toxic sludge from a Michigan nuclear plant.  Leaving the "comfortable" more often than not hollow slabs of margarine destined to spend the rest of their lives worrying about the climate control in their house or how they can make more money solely to buy more things that will hopefully make them even more comfortable and yet not any happier.

Growth as a human is always uncomfortable. And I once had a boss in my knife-selling days who always said nothing worth having is easy to get. But the things that truly fulfill and lift us, that get us the closest to understanding why we exist on this earth, are always the ones that test us the most. Paddling out into heavy waves, what feels like an eternity stroking and diving and fighting and you really want to go back in but you refuse to give up and then you're in the lineup, the waves are bigger than anything you've ridden before, you're scared to ride them but you drop in anyway - and suddenly you're in heaven.

You break your rut, either by moving or changing jobs or changing careers or significant others or whatever. So many people walk around in a semi-haze, always their eyes on the "someday" at the expense of today, only to wake up and realize that tomorrow's "someday" has become yesterday and they wouldn't have known it for the similarity yesterday has to today and no doubt will have to the new tomorrow and the day after.

Snowboarding and skiing are easy ways to constantly challenge yourself - you can always find steeper, more difficult, more frightening runs. And drop bigger cliffs should you max out the steepness. And then comes the exploration part. Hiking through warm weather is tough, no doubt. There's the danger of dehydration. In some hot regions malaria and other diseases run rampant. And then the whole snake/monkey/wild boar thing. But  there are few things more testing and uncomfortable and life-affirming as a snowy mountain climb, especially when you extend that over a full expedition.

There's the altitude side of things, where in spite of months, hell years of training you pass an elevation and you feel like your lungs have collapsed. And the cold, losing the feeling in your fingers and toes and having to push on while trying not to think about whether or not you have frostbite and might need to get a chunk of your body cut off. And just the sheer challenge of carrying 40 to 60 pounds up thousands of vertical feel, having to negotiate powder fields and sheer rocks and, depending on how high and where, having to go over and around glacial crevasses, the very real specter of death looming. Starvation, hypothermia, the fact that one minor slip can result in serious injury or death - yeah, that's some shit.

And when you get to the top - there's truly no feeling as good in this entire world as when you've worked so hard for something that tested you so much and, in spite of all the times you wanted to turn back, you succeed.

As such, I recently came across this sick flick sponsored by North Face in which living legend Conrad Anker takes two big mountain skier/snowboarders, Sage Cattabriga-Alosa and Lucas Debari, to the summit of the tallest mountain in North America to ski back down. It's a great shot of the fun, fear, and fury that comes from climbing. And the real kicker is that these two guys live in big mountains, no doubt have spent thousands of hours hiking and clomping around crazy backcountry peaks, probably are fitter than 99% of the American population yet this expedition was a huge test. Yeah, and throwing a flatspin over a crevasse is just fuckin' insane. Check it out,  THE DENALI EXPERIMENT.

So there it is. Next time you're sitting around, surrounded by all sorts of THINGS in your apartment or house which may make your life easier but haven't made you any happier, make the decision to do something uncomfortable, painful, and a bit scary. I can guarantee you'll be rewarded with a feeling of strength, accomplishment, and fulfillment better than anything else you've ever felt in your comfortable life. And for those who know that, well, what better time than now to go push it some more?

Happy Friday,

Ryan

Cyber Terrorism-The Eventual Cause of WWIII

It seems like technology is continuing its ascent to the status of vital cog in eventual catastrophic war, but as of right now the battle is still not against robots with artificial intelligence but against other people in the form of cyber warfare. Upon hearing this, thousands of senior citizens move gingerly in glee as their anti-technology rants are proven somewhat correct. The advancement of technology is clearly important as it saves lives, it makes tasks easier, and it allows pertinent information to be transferred with the stroke of a button; but like in most aspects of life, tech progression also has its set-backs. 

It seems like everyone is getting hacked. Apple, known for its stout and secure system, was hacked recently although it appears data was not exposed. Besides this technology juggernaut, Twitter, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, a Water Treatment plant in Illinois, and the DOE are all victims of this form of terrorism. It seems like a group of people really enjoyed the movie Skyfall. Well,  after the security company Mandiant analyzed the information, it was apparent that groups of hackers in Shanghai linked to the Chinese government are at fault for some of these attacks. I mean we buy their products, borrow a shit-load of money, and aren't testing weapons of mass destruction near their door-step, yet we're the targets of their cyber terrorism?  Whether they are really at fault is to be seen, but whoever is responsible needs to understand where to draw the line. 

They can mess with our newspapers, they can mess with our infrastructure, they can even mess with our social media to a certain degree; but I’ll be damned if they attack our fast food restaurants, a staple of US culture. Burger King being hacked is a slap in the face and justice needs to be served. Quickly, unhealthily, and hopefully deep fried.

-Kyle

  

New Body Parts, Same Ol' Humanity

Heroes fall, especially when the hero is shaped out of the soft clay of human flesh. Because in spite of whatever great heroics that man may achieve, in the end he's only a man and susceptible to the weaknesses and foibles inherent in such a flawed creature. O.J. Simpson comes to mind. Michael Vick too - though he didn't kill any people, based on the scientific principles that dogs have an intelligence somewhere between a 2 and 3 year-old child - not to mention their emotional intelligence - his murder of such creatures for the pure sake of amusement is pretty disgusting. Phil Spector, who invented sound recording techniques and produced such all-time classics as the album LET IT BE and the song "You've Lost That Loving Feeling", will be remembered as the weird old dude with the freaky hair who killed Lana Clarkson. And now Oscar Pistorius, just 6 months ago a global athletic hero and inspiration, shot his supermodel girlfriend 3 times through a bathroom door the other night, killing the poor angel.

But this isn't like the other stories because Oscar isn't just another media darling. He's the poster boy for overcoming adversity, for a triumph of the human spirit over the mortal body. His making it to the finals in the Olympics despite his condition as a double amputee became a symbol of hope for disabled people all over, a living manifestation of the time-honored tradition for overcoming adversity. And sadly, perhaps this disappointment makes it complete. That is, in spite of his strength and courage, in spite of the hope he may have filled the world with, Oscar Pistorius is tragically human. Which means that, yes, there is the possibility that in a fit of rage, or possibly even an illogical bout of fear and confusion like he's complaining, he can take the life of a beautiful human being whose only real crime was loving him.

The thing I hate about this is that few people in the world in general know about the amazing achievements of and within the world of the physically challenged. And I'm not talking about Murderball or Wheelz Fotheringham. Those are amazing in their own right, athletes with more heart (and steelier balls) than almost anybody alive. But what I'm talking about is the joint between science and humanity, the future of prosthetics and bionics being manifest now, the breaking of limitations previous thought to hold back the disabled and how pioneers are pushing it forward. When you look into this wild world, Oscar Pistorius is just a scratch on the surface, albeit a very visible one.

First off let's start with the other prosthesis-based press from last week, the FDA approval of a bionic eye. While not fully restorative, it allows recipients to discern colors, large letters, objects, shapes, so on. Then there's the mind-controlled hand, another bold new step in the world of bionics. Both of these will no doubt go down in history someday as medical breakthroughs on par with he first heart transplant or brain surgery.

But since we as people need other people to relate to something - that is, all the talk of the possibility of a real $6 million dollar  means nothing to us until someone visible uses the new technology - and since the previous poster boy for the possibilities inherent in this brave new world of body meets technology, Pistorius, will no doubt be blacklisted for the rest of his life - I present to you a new face for human greatness in spite of physical adversity: The Gimp Monkeys.

First off, let's talk quickly about El Capitan, one of the world meccas for climbers, is a sheer granite wall in Yosemite. It was first climbed via the nose in 1958, a climb that took 47 days. I consider myself a decent athlete and have begun to be interested in climbing but I can safely say that I will never climb El Capitan.

The route they take, the 1800-foot Zodiac wall, wasn't summitted until 1972, very late for any first ascent in modern mountaineering. So to the Gimp Monkeys I can say even missing body parts you are more man than myself.

As they combine technology in the form of protheses and climbing gear with their own human strength and skill, these men have proven that there's really no limit.

Two lines to take from it: "Hey Pete, can you hand me my leg?" and something about how we all have disabilities of one kind or another and we can either let them run our lives or push through them. Attitude can be a disability as much as any physical problem.

So, as we find our inspirations shattered yet again (damn you Lance Armstrong, I wore your bracelet for, like, 2 years), we have to move on and find new people to give us courage to go out and tackle life. To use our will, our know-how, and our science to overcome any obstacle in our way.

On that motivational note, have a good short week.

- Ryan

Triumph of the Human Spirit? No, Just Americans Slightly Inconvenienced

There is a great little essay by David Foster Wallace about his experience on a cruise ship entitled A SUPPOSEDLY FUN THING I'LL NEVER DO AGAIN. My wife took a cruise ship once down to Cabo and back, calling me the second day to beg me to pick her up at Ensenada when it docked. She has no desire to ever take a cruise ever again.

And recently the cruise world has some things to answer for. First off there's the carbon footprint inherent in powering a behemoth like that across the ocean and certainly through tropical ports which depend on the blueness of their waters and the plentitude of their fish for tourism dollars. Venice Italy, the historic city of wonder, now little more than a working antique village a la Williamsburg, is up in arms against the cruise ships who regularly make waves and ump sludge in their already rising, filthy waterways. And of course there's that guy who sunk his ship in the mediterranean and had the gall to leave the sinking ship, ignoring the #1 rule of being a captain.

But the current cruise ship turmoil making the news is a pathetically overblown engine fire that slightly inconvenienced all those on board. On Sunday just off the Yucatan the engine caught on fire, leaving the boat with little power. People had to urinate in sinks and eventually in bags. Food was limited, they whined. Prepared for all-you-can-eat buffets, the passengers were forced to "ration". They made tent villages on the deck. And no doubt these "heroes" will be making the talk-show circuit this week.

In one article they said passengers described it as "Lord of the Flies" or "Survivor". Wait, did I miss the part where the mean leader kills the fat kid? Or the challenge when they have to climb some posts or something and then go back to their tent full of mosquitoes and limited water? No, all that happened on the Carnival Cruise Ship Triumph was a couple vacationers were forced to lay around a nice big cruiser as it was taken back to a port, helis and rescue boats around and the band playing the whole time. In fact, wasn't this a SIMPSONS episode? Oh, right it was called "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again."

People, wake up. First off, why you would ever go on a cruise, where you're packed in with a bunch of other lay-abouts and rushed from one beach to another, just boggles the mind. Secondly, if you lose power and your ship breaks down, what happened to the old American adage known as "sucking it up." That is, don't bitch, don't run around in hysterics claiming that you were on death's edge, whining about the inconveniences of non-runnng water (by the way, did nobody think of peeing off the edge of the boat?). Just thank God or Buddha or Xenu or Vishnu or Allah or the Great Magnet or just your own internal luck machine that your ship didn't go all Titanic, that nobody died, you didn't have to eat the others, be thankful that, in the end, the worst thing that happened was just slight inconvenience as other people were paid to essentially fix the problem without you having to lift a finger. For fuck's sake, they even had open bar one night (until patrons got belligerent and started fighting - damn you Mel Gibson).

And maybe stay away from the cruise ships for a little. I mean, they just sound annoying.

Happy Friday.

- R

Lewis's RAYvens- The Legacy

An obituary is written about someone after they have passed away as it’s a time to reflect on his life. In my opinion, there is a similarity when discussing an athlete’s legacy as it’s difficult to reflect upon the total impact and career of someone who is still playing. Entering into the playoffs this year, possibly the greatest linebacker to play the game emphatically said that this would be his last ride. Ray Lewis, after 17 years, was going to hang-up his cleats in order to spend time with his children and attend the oldest son’s college games at the U. But Ray still had several weeks to play. Sports media went absolutely ape-shit discussing his troubled past, his legacy, and his impact on the game but I thought it would be better to hold-off and I was damn right since, once again, he showed his impact, adding another notch to what is one of the most storied belts in sports history.

He fights grizzly bears for fun. When demolishing buildings, the only equipment he needs is his hands. When Freddy Kruger has nightmares, they're centered around Ray Lewis. Ray-Ray is a beast. As an avid Ravens fan, I have had the luxury of calling Ray Lewis a member of Ravens nation, but it would be doing him an injustice to call him anything else but the king of this purple legion. There is no single person in Baltimore who does what he does for this city. Everyone from every walk of life has united under the flag of Ray Lewis in this diverse, struggling city. 

Statistically, he has proven to be the most well-rounded linebacker in the game's history. Sure, there are many players who have more sacks and others who have more interceptions, but he’s the only member of the 40 sack/ 30 pick club. Although the tackle is a relatively a new stat, it’s hard to fathom anyone ending up with more than the 2101 combined tackles he has acquired over his career.  He is a 2x Super Bowl Champion, 13x Pro Bowler, 7x first team All-Pro (10x total), 2x NFL Defensive Player of the year, 3x AFC Defensive player of the Year, and Super Bowl MVP. He has the most games started at Inside/Middle Linebacker, most Interception yards for an inside/middle linebacker, and is on the NFL 2000s All-Decade Team. As the game progressed from a running to a passing game, he too had to adapt  as he became responsible for not only smashing blockers to get to the running back but he had to drop into coverage and keep up with slot receivers and tight ends. He has received so many accolades and statistically he is among the best ever, but with age comes a decrease in effectiveness and although it was evident he was somewhat of a shadow of his former self, he not only had the most tackles in a single postseason since 2000 with 51 but he elevated everyone around him. The thing that separates Ray from any other player in NFL history is that he is unquestionably the greatest leader of all-time.

Ray Lewis maintains the same passion in his 17^th year as he did in his first game. He is a general, leader, motivator, and idol whose passion on the field spills out into his off-field habits. He trains 8 hours a day in the off-season and studies film so extensively that he knows what plays the offense is calling before every snap. Because of this, he elevated the team and the players around him more than any player in NFL history.  Ray’s teammates have been signed by other teams for exorbitant contracts and never seem to deliver (Adalius Thomas, Bart Scott, Duane Starks, Ed Hartwell, Sam Adams, Jarrett Johnson, LaRon Landry). How many head coaches has Ray Lewis made? Well there is Marvin Lewis (DC), Mike Nolan (DC), Mike Smith (DL), Jack Del Rio (LB), Rex Ryan (DC), Chuck Pagano (DC), Mike Singletary (LB), and Jim Schwartz (DA). All former coordinators/assistants for the Ravens while Ray played who all eventually became head coach at some point in their careers. It’s his ability to make players around him better that separates him from those who currently and previously played the game. 

Ray Lewis is a once in a generation athlete. In Baltimore he is comparable to Michael Phelps, Cal Ripken Jr., Johnny Unitas, and Frank Robinson. So I held off writing this “sports obituary” knowing that Ray Lewis was not completely dead in the sports sense. It has also taken me this long to finally write this piece not only due to the two week hangover from winning the most prestigious title in the game (Lombardi Trophy for those of you who live under a rock), but I also don't want to believe that he’s leaving. There was a rancid smell surrounding the Ravens according to analysts because, going into the playoffs, they had lost 4 out of the last 5. The Ravens and the Colts were considered the worst two teams entering the post-season with no chance of winning the AFC championship, let alone the Super Bowl. Well, they were right about one of those teams. Then Ray Lewis returned. Of course, Flacco was a huge factor in the playoffs as he was simply unstoppable. But the pulse of the team changed when 52 re-entered the building. They played each second of each game with everything they had; they developed a swagger that no other team in the post-season had; and they wanted it more than anyone else; all of which flowed from Lewis. There are those who feel that Lewis was too emotional during the playoffs but it’s because the man has more passion, emotion, and respect for each football game than most people in this world have for their entire lives. It’s what set him apart and why he was able to get so much out of everyone around him. There never was nor will there ever be another Ray. I can’t wait to see the statue. 

- Kyle

Your Random Morning Bi-weekly Updates (2.12)

US

Chris Dorner is still missing as the search has stretched from Mexico to Big Bear Lake in San Bernadino Mountains. It’s too cold in the mountains for anyone to shack up for a few days and I feel that there was actually a Sasquatch sighting that was mistaken for him. It’s not like this guy can blend in. Once you see him, you recognize him.

NFL

Michael Vick signs a 1 year deal replacing his 2011 contract that included 6-years/$100 million dollars. It's crazy what 1 year does in the NFL. It goes to show that dog karma doesn’t go away.

NBA


Celtics finally lose for the first time (7 games) since Rajon Rondo proved that he is an X-Factor, for other teams…Kobe continues to keep his name in papers, but it’s for his off-court antics. He reprimanded a fan who tweeted another was gay on his twitter page. He’s also downplaying his drama with fellow Laker Dwight Howard even though he has been ripping on him all year. Shouldn’t they be focusing on the fact that they’re not going to make the playoffs in what feels like forever. Mike D’Antoni’s response was the most spot on I have seen him in years:

"We're not going to play out what we do in the locker room or how I should coach in the media. That's been our problem. Everybody wants a story. Everybody wants to give a story. The story is whether we win or lose and how we play.”

Well, I guess when you get to a certain elderly age like this entire team, you start to ramble for the attention.


International

North Korea conducted its third Nuke test due to US threats, the first under Kim Jong Un. We’ll let this one slip under the rug and blame it on daddy issues…Day 2 of the Pope Saga. He’s the first Pope to resign since the medieval days. While there are a lot of questions to be answered, I think the most important two are who really cares and does a Pope still actually have power and influence.



Entertainment

Walking Dead set a series record Sunday night as it continues to dominate the cable television arena with 12.3 million viewers and a 6.1 rating for adults 18-49, the most for that demo. Oh, and just for comparison, American Idol last week brought in 13.3 million on a network broadcast. I know it’s crazy in this day and age, but there are still some prehistoric beings without cable, making the accomplishment even more remarkable. The Walking Dead was even competing against the Grammy’s. I blame the lack of revealing clothes rule at Sunday night’s show for its defeat, however. I think next year, the organizers should make a rule that there needs to be at least 5 wardrobe malfunctions.

(FYI, I'll try and do a morning run down twice a week so keep an eye for them)

-Kyle

An Unkindness of Ravens

Last year I wrote a painful missive about how a real man knows how it feels to lose. And I admit, even after winning the Super Bowl I was watching footage of Cundiff missing that field goal and began to feel sick to my stomach. What I might not have fully qualified, however, is that from that loss the greatest, most ambitious of us will rise, phoenix from the flames, and be that much stronger, that much smarter; will emerge from that defeat hungry and fired up and, in the end, be victorious.

Every great hero has been knocked down, beaten, or kicked around at one point or another. Such is what makes the crowning victory that much sweeter.

So it is with the Baltimore Ravens clenching the World Championship, hoisting the Lombardi high for the rough and tumble working city of Baltimore to swoon over. So it is with Ray Lewis, bastard son to a teenage mother, didn't know his father and so was named after a helpful family friend (Lewis wasn't the name of his mother or his biological father), couldn't afford weights so had to settle for doing push-ups and sit-ups with a deck of cards (2-10 is 6 push-ups or sit-ups, face cards are 10 push-ups or sit-ups, aces are 25 and jokers 50), was constantly told he was too small to play football, and emerged as arguably the best middle linebacker of all time and, like a legend of old, finished his career clenching his second Super Bowl for the same city he began his career with 17 years ago.

But all that aside, everybody knows that victory feels good. So instead of a long essay on winning and adversity, on not giving up and such, I'm just gonna point out a series of cool facts, stats, and random esoteria from the Ravens' rollercoaster 2012/2013 Superbowl run. Plus, I think Kyle, the ephemeral winner of the MA staff, will no doubt have much more to say about it.

- The most famous single play of the season has to be the 4th and 29 when Flacco pitched it to Ray Rice at scrimmage for a run that essentially saved what otherwise would've been a loss to San Diego and possibly the season. This play was quickly named "Hey diddle, diddle, Ray Rice up the Middle." The Ravens are of course named after Edgar Allen Poe's eponymous poem THE RAVEN (thus the reason the mascots are named Edgar, Allen and Poe; this also makes the supposedly "thuggish" Baltimore the only NFL team named after a work of literature). So it's quite interesting that Edgar Allen Poe in 1843 wrote an essay about diddling that opened with the quote "Hey diddle diddle, the cat in the fiddle" - From an epic by Flaccus. Flaccus? Really? In it he describes the diddler with the following lines "Your diddler perseveres", "Your diddler is audacious... He would not fear the daggers of the Frey Herren", "Your diddler is nonchalant. He is not all nervous. He never had any nerves".

- For some reason people are still debating whether Flacco is elite and a ton of talking heads still insist he isn't. But let's just look at the facts:
          - He's made it to the playoffs every season of his career.
          - His 11 post-season TD's tied Joe Montana and Kurt Warner for the post-season record
          - His super bowl QB rating, 95.1, was higher that Rodgers, Brees, Brady, or either Manning
I can go on and on but until he starts talking like he has a lipper in his gums and gets a personal stylist - and maybe some trademark touchdown dance or something - people will continue to say he's not elite. But that's fine. Those would be the same people who mid-season said the Ravens would be lucky to make it to the playoffs.

- Ray Rice has a one-year-old daughter named Rayven. If there's anything cuter or any better sign that Baltimore's running sensation's here to stay, I can't think of it.

- Ravens are related to crows and look like crows so a lot of times people mistakenly say a flock of Ravens is a "murder of Ravens". Alas, that denomination is for crows. Though my favorite accepted term for a flock of Ravens is an "unkindness of Ravens". There are already enough racists and ignoramuses who consider the Ravens a team of convicts and murderers. We don't kill mother fuckers; we're just unkind as hell to them.

- People don't know where Baltimore is. Seriously . The city where Edgar Allen Poe, possibly the most famous American author of all time, lived. The city where THE WIRE, the greatest show of all time was set. The city where Francis Scott Key wrote our goddamn NATIONAL ANTHEM! The sad thing is, I bet at least 3 quarters of these idiots know where Forks is.

- Baltimore set down beatings but even more played through unimaginable injury itself. Which makes sense for the city where the Star-Spangled Banner was written not thanks to some awesome defeat but to the fact that Ft. McHenry took a cruel shelling from the entire British fleet and yet in the morning was still standing. Here's just a sampling:
             - Ray Lewis tore his tricep and somehow came back to lead his team through a play-offs which included beating the "can't be stopped" offenses of "elite quarterbacks" Tom Brady and Peyton Manning.
            - Terrell Suggs came back from a torn achilles in 3 months. Feel the back of your heel, that massive rope that feels like a band of iron. Now imagine tearing that. Then imagine playing NFL football in 3 months. Then imagine tearing your bicep and playing through that too.
           - Bernard Pollard played the Super Bowl with 6 broken ribs. Big Ben sat out with 1. Pussy.
           - Ed Reed played with a shoulder sprain basically all season. I got a bad shoulder sprain 2 years ago. It still hurts if I spend too much time writing in a day. But to play like he did with it? I would have to get the damn thing amputated.

- Baltimore's lowest power rankings of the season came on week 16 after getting trounced by the Broncos, dropping Baltimore to #11. Nobody took into account the fact that half the team was out with injuries and would be coming back for the playoffs. Or that it was just getting things figured out. Everybody was just shouting, on December 18th, that the Ravens were all but washed up. Here are the teams that were ranked above them:
        1. 49ers
        2. Falcons
        3. Patriots
        4. Texans
        5. Broncos
        6. Packers
        7. Seahawks
        8. Bengals
        9. Redskins
        10. Bears

- Oh yeah, and in beating San Francisco, Baltimore is currently the only team in the history of the NFL to have gone undefeated in multiple Super Bowls.

And now a month later, after defeating doubters and haters all season (and, not to seem bitter, but the talking heads seem to love disparaging the Ravens almost as much as they love cupping Peyton's balls and stroking Brady's shaft) the Ravens are the national champions. Even now half the supposed professionals, seemingly having not watched the playoffs, are calling the Ravens mediocre, calling Flacco lucky, all this crap. It's like those crazy conservatives who vehemently chide homosexuality as a work of the devil, then get caught humping some little boy in a truck stop bathroom out by the interstate. And just like when I see such ignorant hypocrisy exposed, there's a warm feeling in my heart when I imagine all those poor suckers who're trying to make careers as professional sports writers and commentators having to admit, if not to the world then at least to themselves, that the team they've been putting down all season, possibly all their career, is currently the unquestioned Super Bowl champions. And even more, that a little blog called Man's Ambition knew better than them with all their magical budgets and metrics and busy CV's.

Now sure, everybody's already talking about how we're losing half our team in the off-season but to that I say we're national champions for the next year at least. And whatever come, until the trophy is in somebody else's hands, nothing else really matters. And I for one won't be surprised to see it sticking around Baltimore a bit.

Oh yeah, and hopefully they'll find and arrest the computer geek who hacked into the Superdome and blew the lights so his home-team would have a chance at not getting completely embarrassed in the largest international single sporting event in the world.

Put that in your flesh pipe and smoke it, pal.

- Ryan