And recently the cruise world has some things to answer for. First off there's the carbon footprint inherent in powering a behemoth like that across the ocean and certainly through tropical ports which depend on the blueness of their waters and the plentitude of their fish for tourism dollars. Venice Italy, the historic city of wonder, now little more than a working antique village a la Williamsburg, is up in arms against the cruise ships who regularly make waves and ump sludge in their already rising, filthy waterways. And of course there's that guy who sunk his ship in the mediterranean and had the gall to leave the sinking ship, ignoring the #1 rule of being a captain.
But the current cruise ship turmoil making the news is a pathetically overblown engine fire that slightly inconvenienced all those on board. On Sunday just off the Yucatan the engine caught on fire, leaving the boat with little power. People had to urinate in sinks and eventually in bags. Food was limited, they whined. Prepared for all-you-can-eat buffets, the passengers were forced to "ration". They made tent villages on the deck. And no doubt these "heroes" will be making the talk-show circuit this week.
In one article they said passengers described it as "Lord of the Flies" or "Survivor". Wait, did I miss the part where the mean leader kills the fat kid? Or the challenge when they have to climb some posts or something and then go back to their tent full of mosquitoes and limited water? No, all that happened on the Carnival Cruise Ship Triumph was a couple vacationers were forced to lay around a nice big cruiser as it was taken back to a port, helis and rescue boats around and the band playing the whole time. In fact, wasn't this a SIMPSONS episode? Oh, right it was called "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again."
People, wake up. First off, why you would ever go on a cruise, where you're packed in with a bunch of other lay-abouts and rushed from one beach to another, just boggles the mind. Secondly, if you lose power and your ship breaks down, what happened to the old American adage known as "sucking it up." That is, don't bitch, don't run around in hysterics claiming that you were on death's edge, whining about the inconveniences of non-runnng water (by the way, did nobody think of peeing off the edge of the boat?). Just thank God or Buddha or Xenu or Vishnu or Allah or the Great Magnet or just your own internal luck machine that your ship didn't go all Titanic, that nobody died, you didn't have to eat the others, be thankful that, in the end, the worst thing that happened was just slight inconvenience as other people were paid to essentially fix the problem without you having to lift a finger. For fuck's sake, they even had open bar one night (until patrons got belligerent and started fighting - damn you Mel Gibson).
And maybe stay away from the cruise ships for a little. I mean, they just sound annoying.
Happy Friday.
- R
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