Some may call it a slugfest. Others may call it a rumble. And some may call it the biggest rivalry in the NFL. But in actuality, it should be called the beauty bowl. The Patriots and the Jets have the two most attractive individuals at the helm. Brady and Sanchez. Both could offer services as male models. One has a model for a wife; the other is probably juggling more models than Victoria’s Secret. Either way, the Patriots vs Jets is a strong rivalry. Also, this division has the inconsistent Dolphins, and the frighteningly bad Buffalo Bills. Either way, this is a division known more for finesse than hard hits.
New England Patriots
This team is the poster child of winning. How often does a franchise continue to win with most of the team being role players? Just doesn’t make sense unless you have an ice man at the helm and football Genius running things (even if he dresses like a homeless ball sack). Tom Brady is arguably one of the best quarterbacks to play the game. He simply wins and looks good doing it. That said, because of this, there is a vagina vortex that continually moves around him so that one of the NFL’s most marketable players does not get hurt. He is Mr. Fundamental as are their role playing receivers: reliable Wes Welker, Deion Branch, and a more tame Chad Ochocinco. Ocho still brings excitement to the game, but he has lightened his off-field distractions. Look at their other offensive weapons: Rob Gronkowski, Danny Woodhead, and Green-Ellis. No one screams game changer. Their defense is also strong and disciplined and has been underrated for wears. Chung, Mayo, Meriweather, Spikes, and the human 18 wheeler Vince Wilfork; they cause all types of issues to an offense. If Haynesworth loses his Mel Gibson-esque craziness and plays ball the way he can, watch out.
Key players
Brady
Welker
Woodhead
Green-Ellis
Ochocino
Mankin
Defense
Haynesworth
Mayo
Meriweather
Chung
NY Jets
Buy me a ticket for an airplane. Ain’t no time to take a fast train.
The jive-talking, egotistical jets provide a slew of off-field enjoyment. That said, can they ever win the big with Sanchize at the helm? I will finally admit that he is a solid QB and can occasionally have masterful games. He can also have games that make you want to release all your bowels at once. That is why he is not in the Top 15 QB’s in the league. Now, if there is any year for him to have a break-out, this is it. With the streaker Santonio “Super-Bowl Legend” Holmes, the ever-reliable D. Mason, and the resurgent Plaxico Burress, he has enough weapons. If he can maintain his connection with Dustin Keller, and they continue to open up secondaries with the run stylings of Greene and hall of famer Tomlinson, he has no excuses. Besides that, Fergusen is a solid tackle, and Mangold is the best center in the game. Their defense is stellar as always. They fly high and hit hard. They have probably the best group of linebackers in the game with Scott, Harris, Pace, and Thomas. Their secondary is even better with Revis land of isolation, Cromartie the baby snatcher, and Jim Leonard. This is one team who is not afraid of anyone.
Key Players
Sanchez
Holmes
Mason
Greene
Keller
Mangold
Defense
Comartie
Revis
Scott
Harris
Pace
Dolphins
I can’t get no respect.
For a Franchise who made the Wildcat cool and it lead them to the playoffs, this team has probably the lamest fan base in the game. Los Angeles is pretty NBA heavy, but they also care about baseball. Miami’s fan base is so soft that all they care about is basketball. The Marlins won a championship and are occasional contenders, the Dolphins have a strong history and a young but fun team to watch, and no one gives a shit. Granted their win total might be low but with explosive players like Marshall and Bush, they could provide some highlights. That said, at this point of Bush’s career he has to live up to the hype he had coming from college or he will be demoted to a special teamer for life. Fasano was a Notre Dame Legend and is trying segue into NFL Stardom. Chad Henne has potential to be good but his receiving core really consists of Brandon Marshall. They also have an up and coming O-line with Locker, Columbo, Pouncey, and Icognito. Their defense will also be allowing other offenses to be on the highlight real as they really do not have anyone elite. Yeremiah Bell is a high level safety and Karlos Dansby can make some plays, but they do not cover the entire defense. Think towards the future here.
Key Players
Marshall
Henne
Bush
Locker
Icognito
Defense
Dansby
Bell
Davis
Buffalo bills
The bottom-dwellers of the AFC East, the AFC, and maybe even the NFL, they have nothing more than an intelligent QB with no skills. Sure they have young, talented receivers in Johnson, Parrish, and Jones, but the loss of speedster Lee Evans could cause them with some Issues. Their QB is Wicked Smart from Harvard but he does not have an NFL cannon. The good thing is that you have a solid run game with Fred Jackson and the potential game time player in C.J. Spiller. Now on defense, they fare a little better with Barnett Davis at LB and Edwards and Williams on the line. If Shaun Merriman plays like old he could be lights out again but his body at this point has shriveled to an injury-prone steroid induced shell. Watch out first pick in next year’s draft, you could be coming to a snow covered city, population no one.
Key Players
Fitpatrick
Spiller
Parrish
Johnson
Jackson
Defense
Barnett
Davis
Williams
Edwards
AFC South
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