Detroit Lions (-4) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars
Is the motor-city back? Well Obama did do a good job of
aiding GM, but I’m not here to bestow my political ideologies on anyone as that
is Ryan’s job. I’m here talking about football. Lions are known as a predatorial
animal with the ability to stalk its prey until a quick and swift attack,
ending the lives of their next meal. The Lions’ offense contains the same
characteristics. While they came out of the gates a little slow this year, they
are starting to show signs of their big play ability. Between Megatron catching
balls while being triple teamed and the “dude” Matt Stafford reading defenses
as easily as finding Waldo, their offense has the ability to go up against
anyone.
Now, Jaguars are 25th
against the run, 23rd vs. the pass, and the 27th in
points allowed. The Lions will eat these Jaguars quickly. Offensively, the
Lions are number 2 in the league in passing ypg and have a respectable defense
as they are 9th in opponent passing
The Jaguars best player, the short-round Kool-aid man
himself MJD, has been ruled out. Blaine Gabbert has a depressing 7 TD’s and 3
picks. Simply, he blows . There is no way he can play in a shoot-out and they
can’t manage the clock without the use of Maurice Jones-Drew. Essentially, the
Jags are more fucked than New Jersey at this time. By the way, is it me or does Gabbert look like staecy Peralta from Dogtown and Z-boys days.
Steelers vs. Giants (o 47.5)
Ok, so we are all aware that both teams have the ability to
play stout defense. Both teams own offenses that make the plays, whether it is
Eli finding Victor Cruz with less than two minutes to beat the Redskins in the
4th quarter or Big Ben converting 3rd and 15’s. Honestly,
this game could go either way but between the fact that the Giant’s are playing
an emotional game and the Steelers are flying in a few hours before the game
due to lack of hotel options, the Giant’s hold the advantage of the
intangibles. That said, both teams are on fire and thus, I wouldn’t pick a
side.
In regards to the over, the Giants are scoring 29.3 ppg and
are allowing 20.1 ppg, while the Steelers are allowing just slightly more at
20.6 ppg, and are scoring slightly less at 23.9 ppg. Either way, the amount of points scored and
the amount of points allowed equal big days for both offenses. Eli and Big Ben will forever be compared in
history as they were both drafted together and both are winners. Plus, they are
both fucking brilliant.
The Steelers have faced a lot of injuries but Dwyer has done
a great job filling in well for Mendenhall and
the Giant’s three headed monster of Bradshaw, Brown, and Wilson. That said,
Dwyer and Mendenhall are most likely out this Sunday and thus the Steelers will
have Isaac Redman starting. He’s probably the least elusive of the three so
watch Ben Roethlisberger throw, A LOT. The Steelers defense is old, the Giant’s
defense is pregnant, and we can’t have a bunch of old/pregnant bitches playing
football. I’m not sure what I meant
there, but hey, I’m a Sandy evacuee. Give me a break. Sure the Steelers defense
is looking like the team of old as they are ranked 1st in opponent
passing and 9th in opponent rushing so the odds of Eli playing
strongly is low, but don’t ever give Eli the odds. He will defy them. Also, it
is only a matter of time before the
Steelers play like they did at the beginning of the season, old. The Giant’s
defense is mediocre at best as they rank 26th in opponent passing
and 19th in opponent rushing. Watch big Ben make plays and Eli doing
everything in his power to keep up. This will be a close and enjoyable one.
Dallas (+4) vs. Atlanta Falcons
Do you know when you get that feeling that a team is due.
Well, the Falcons are due for a loss. I know, I know, they looked good last
week, but they were playing against an Eagles team spiraling down faster than
cast of Jersey Shore. It also depends on which Cowboys team gets on that plane.
Since 1991, the Boys are 3-0 against undefeated teams who
are at least 7-0. Like usual, the Cowboys are underachieving as they do have
the pieces to contend. The Falcons have probably the most dynamic receiving duo
in Julio Jones and Rowdy Roddy White (Combined 1090 yds, and 9 TD’s), but the
Cowboys have two top corners in rookie Claiborne and Brandon Carr. With those
two playing tight, it will give Damarcus Ware and Jay Ratliff plenty of time to
rush Matty Ice.
The Cowboys have the inconsistent but when in the zone very
Favre-esque Tony Romo at the helm. While their beast starting RB DaMarco Murray
is ruled out, Felix Jones should be fine as a back-up. Plus, Romo’s receiving
weapons consist of Dez Bryant, Miles Austin, the rising Ogletree, and Jason
Witten who is only 4 receptions shy of breaking Michael Irvin’s franchise record
of 750 receptions. I’m sure Irvin will do some coke to that. By the way, the
Cowboys were a finger tip away from beating the hottest team in football, the G-men
last week. I smell upset.
Week 8
1-2
Week 7
2-1
Week 6
1-2
Week 5
1-2
Week 4
3-0
Week 3
2-1
Week 2
1-2
Week 1
0-1
LOCK STREET TOTAL RECORD
11-12
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