Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Downside of Being a Superior Athlete




Injury is the most prevalent occupational hazard in sports. While the NFL is trying to impose certain rules in order to ensure the safety of its players, injuries will occur whether certain changes transpire or not. The NFL is not alone as every sport contains a high certainty of injury. So while watching the NCAA Tournament on Sunday enjoying a relaxing Easter Sunday that had already entailed church, brunch, and filing of my taxes I kept an eye on the Louisville/Duke match-up. It was apparent that The Blue Devils were outclassed by Louisville’s skills and athleticism. So as I glanced down wondering how I could possibly smudge my numbers to ensure a higher return, I saw out of the corner of my eye the most devastating injury in basketball and possibly all of sports history. This got me thinking of the worst injuries in each sport’s history. (Spoiler Alert: Not for the squeamish)

Basketball

While FGCU and whoever wins the national championship will be the talk of this tournament, closest runner up to these two will certainly be Kevin Ware’s pain inducing break. How the hell does this even happen? Too many stress fractures? An uneven court? Aliens? It was so bad CBS refused to show the replay. This might have been one of the few times I was not thankful for DVR.





Hockey

Clint Malarchuk

The journeyman goaltender suffered the most terrifying and in my opinion, the most serious injury in sports. It’s one of those injuries that haunts your nightmares and makes even the toughest individual question (for a second) putting on those skates. Maybe Happy Gilmore wasn’t just an eccentric but a borderline psychopath.



Football

Joe Theismann

This is a difficult category due to the violent aspects of the sport. While Napoleon McCallum and Willis McGahee both suffered devastating, stomach-dropping blows, Theisman’s leg has lived in infamy even to this day. I think this proves that LT took meth on top of crack



Track and Field

We always see the hero taking a spear and tossing it through one of his enemies in the epic battle scenes of a period piece. Well, this is what happens when it occurs in a sporting event. Get that guy at least a monocle if not glasses. 



Soccer
Oupa Ngulube

This might be visually the most difficult injury to watch. It’s like looking at a fucking Dali painting.



Baseball

Carlos Beltran collides with Mike Cameron

There are many individuals who undervalue the violence in baseball. Pitchers dislocate their elbows, hitters take countless pitches to the body, and balls can rocket into the face of infielders. While all are certain to cause throbbing pain, baseball's collisions are the worst. Due to not being able to find the video, I included a picture and a video baseball collisions.Believe me when I say, watching the video will give you a headache.



- Kyle


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