The Evolution of Technology at Its Worst

In a world of technological advances, each tech giant is trying to develop the next break-through product in order to chase Apple. What Apple has done is simply remarkable as their computers, iPods, iphones, and ipads revolutionized smart technology. Ever since they demolished the competition, it has been a battle for second place, but over the last two weeks I have witnessed products that seem destined to end up as paperweights.

The Facebook Phone

OK so Mark Zuckerburg is an absolute programming genius, but what I have witnessed over the previous years is someone who certainly lacks business acumen. Facebook’s public offering was a debacle and now this new phone software is completely unnecessary. Of course, he is not simply the only one at fault for the overvalue of Facebook or this idea to create a Facebook phone platform, but he is certainly the person everyone will attack.

Facebook’s new “Home” family of Android will provide a more extensive and intimate relationship with his social network. While the standard application on smart phones does have certain issues, it does provide all of the necessary functions. Why the hell is there a need for an Android Facebook platform? I’m not sure and while I foresee this move as detrimental to the tech mogul's reputation, I don’t think he really cares. The new Home phone that Zuckerberg and crew is implementing won’t cause rioting or rummaging for an Android phone or to get the software, but it also won’t deter the billions of users from a program that evolves every day.

Google Glasses

In theory, this looks like it has the potential to revolutionize smart technology, but I don’t foresee it breaking any sales records. It’s sleek, small, and could really allow you to multi-task, but who really wants to pay the expensive price tag when you can use a phone that has a stronger web search ability. I mean, it’s $1500 when preordered although the price will certainly decrease in time. I can’t buy sunglasses that are over $100 due to the fact I always break them, so why would I buy a hand free computer that I wear on my head. I don't plan on wearing these out at "da club", climbing mountains, riding my bike, or just about anytime I do anything. I can check my iphone when I need some technological assistance on the road and when I'm at home, I'll use my laptop or ipad.

Another issue I foresee is that the actions on the screen relies on voice command. I mean just look at Siri. She was suppose to revolutionize browsing aspect but her inability to comprehend just about anything leads one to distrust this type of software. Do you really want to be at a bar, telling a dirty joke, and porn accidently pops up on your mini screen? I sure as hell Might not appreciate that. Now if you felt like making a homemade porn without the other person knowing, these glasses would work perfectly since there is no indication that they are recording, hence why they are banned at strip clubs. They may take my money, they can take my phone, but I’ll be damned if a divey strip club takes my $1000 glasses.

The E4U

If you have been one who always wished of traveling in an egg, here is your chance. This evolutionary child of the segway actually does look sexier and more inviting than a segway, but who actually needs one of these? I mean, segways have already cornered the mobile transportation industry. Malls, Government officials, the obese, and Rent-a-cops are not going to be that interested in throwing away one product for essentially the same exact thing. For the commoners who commute to work, run errands, and walk to where they need to go (Which is a staple of Manhattanites), having one of these does not make sense, which is their target customer. As a society, have we gotten too lazy to walk anywhere? What happens when someone encounters stairs?

 

Even worse than simply not needing it, the device moves on a confusing pressure and motion system. You tilt one way, it moves the other. You put pressure on one foot it moves backward. What happened to the joystick? Now, if Google glasses and the Hyundai E4U team up to create a mobile transportation product that moves on thoughts, then maybe I would possibly reconsider.