KEEP IT CLASSY, MEN: Home Delivery Shave and Save,

Shaving your face is a pain in the ass. It adds a couple minutes to every morning's routine, splashing around the sink as you wield a razor-sharp blade (growing duller because you always forget to get a new one) over the contours of your most oddly-shaped part, johnson notwithstanding. God only knows how much time shaving wastes in your life, especially when you add the hours spent wandering up and down the aisles in the supermarket or the CVS, looking for razors only to find they're kept in a locked fucking box and you need to get a manager to open it because homeless people have been stealing them and trading them for redtops and only after your man opens the glass case can you spend that $20 bucks for 3 razors that'll wear out in a week. Even shorter if you have a live-in girlfriend (or wife) who thinks it's cute when she uses your face razors for her bristly legs.

Well, my friends, there is now a solution: Dollar Shave Club. Like a restaurant deal with the local knife supplier to drop off a fresh batch of sharpened slicers and dicers every week, Dollar Shave Club will provide you with an old-timey handle and fresh blades delivered to your door every 2 fortnights. For a quarter of the price of brand name store-bought models (suck it Gillette and Schick) you get the same quality with much greater convenience. If for no other reason, I'm gonna join this simply because the ad looks like something Dennis and Frank put together 3 quarters of the way into a blackout in the dingy hallows of Paddy's Pub:

Order 'em now, before they blow up and double the price (it's already being whispered that they're gonna take down the overpriced-razormongers currently selling vibration-compatible razors for about the same price/weight as black tar heroin).

- Ryan