Why Comedy Kills Them Young

Forbes just announced Eddie Murphy as Hollywood’s most overpaid actor in their list of the top 10 Overpaid actors in Hollywood. Using a simple equation in which they compared the actor's price tag to his or her average box office take, they made a list which comes about as close to commoditizing entertainment as one can ever get. While the many components of film-making make these equations flawed at best, I noticed one "funny" thing about the list - most of the most overpaid actors are comedians.

In the top Ten, Forbes has Murphy as averaging $2.30 for every dollar paid, followed by Heigl at $3.40 for every dollar paid and then Reese Witherspoon at $3.90 for every dollar paid. The rest of the list included 3 more comedy actors: Jack Black, Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller. And, if you count SEX IN THE CITY as a comedy (and isn’t it supposed to be?), Sarah Jessica Parker makes it a total of 7 out of Forbes’ 10 most overpaid actors are comedy/rom-com stars. But why?

Well there are a couple reasons and, sadly, they all bode poorly for any aspiring comedy actors out there. Of every genre, comedy has to be the hardest to pull off.

I mean drama, that's easy: throw in some tears, some love, and kill off a main actor and people will talk about how poignant it is and, hell, whether it's in 17th Century England or 21st Century America our sense of tragedy and understanding of death, loss, and love are basically the same.

And horror, while it has evolved some offshoots like gore porn, is still essentially the same - creepy things, creaky doors, ugly villains, screaming terrified women, and a darkness not only in the setting but also in the sense that we never know what's happening. This carries over to thrillers. But comedy? Just watch a comedy from the 40's and unless you're a film geek that shit just ain't funny. I've subjected my wife to hours watching old comedies and she now refuses to watch anything written or shot before the 70's.

So that bring us to comedy. The problem with comedy is, for all intents and purposes it has to be cutting edge. No matter how many times we've seen it, that motherfucker jumping out from behind a door will always make us shake in our boots. But once you've heard a joke it loses its humor; that is, you can re-watch over and over again that first telling of that joke but the next time somebody tries it you'll jeer, call it a rip-off, and move on. Comedy has to be fresh. That's why comedians can rarely keep long careers.

Eddie Murphy is case in point. I watched his celebrity special the other night and everybody cracked the audience up. And it was rad seeing Eddie do a duet with Stevie Wonder. But otherwise the man looked at the stage like a ghost watching his own funeral. At one point Arsenio even asked Eddie to do some stand-up and the rest of the crowd jumped up to cheer for him but he turned it down, fiercely. Because Eddie Murphy doesn't do stand-up anymore. Because he just doesn't have it. And, sadly, the night felt more like a eulogy than a roast.

The thing is, few comedians have long careers as cutting-edge funnymen. It either goes one of the following routes:

• Comedian to Family Film Comedian to Cheesy Paycheck Comedian once given up
• Examples: Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey
• Comedian to Death
•  Examples: Belushi and Farley come to mind. Phil Hartman too.
• Comedian to Serious Actor
• Examples: Robin Williams and Jim Carrey since only his serious flicks are any good anymore. And in fact Eddie Murphy's only decent perfomance in the last decade was in DREAMGIRLS.
• Comedian to Suit
• Examples: Harold Ramis, Mel Brooks, Keenan Ivory Wayans, basically any comedian with enough sense to step off the screen except for occasional cameos.
• Comedian to Crazy:
• Examples: Dave Chapelle. God we miss you.

All of those but the top are acceptable for the world of comedy and the world in general. I didn't mention Bill Murray because, honestly, he's one of the few I think has somehow managed to stay funny as time's gone on but that's by changing his comedic style to the dryness befitting an old gentleman. It probably also helps that he refuses to have anything to do with Hollywood - he lives in the Hudson River Valley and doesn't have an agent - he just has a guy you call and if Bill wants to talk to you he magically calls you back. He doesn't sign contracts but if he says he wants to do a film he does it. Because of that he doesn't get sidetracked by the specters of success and big paychecks. And there's the rub.

I have nothing against big paychecks. Don't begrudge somebody "selling out." But the simple fact is that comedy's like the blues - it has to come from a tough, dark place full of rejection and frustration. And when you gain some level of success, you lose that rejection and frustration. Then you get paid $20 million dollars to do a movie and you maybe don't like the script but hey, it's safe, it's easy, and you can finally buy that waterfront mansion in Malibu. Suddenly you're getting paid exorbitant amounts of money and you don't even really have to be that funny anymore - you can get away with cheesy and corny. And from there it just builds on itself, a combination of atrophying your real comedy chops while you also have less to rebel against and complain about and observe and, when you think about it, what the fuck else is there in comedy?

So here's Ryan's quick bit of free advice for any and all aspiring comedians:

1. Hold on to your struggle. Becoming a successful comedian is possibly the hardest thing to do and the one aspiration in which a person will receive the most rejection and scrutiny. If you make it to the other side, just always remember your roots. I had a friend ask me what I'll do when I get older and hate my tattoos. I told him that if I ever get to a point in my life where I hate my tattoos it'll be a sign I'm on the wrong path. If SNL Eddie Murphy watched 1000 WORDS he'd punch his future self in the face.
2. Diversify. Because at some point, if you want to keep your self-respect, you might have to segue into dramatic acting. Because you don't need to be edgy to act distraught or in love. 
3. Never accept more than you really deserve. Agents would be killing me right now if they read this blog but it's true. That's why Chappelle cracked - he got $60 million dollars and it was such a large sum he just crumbled underneath the weight of it. On the other hand, it's a surefire way to end your career - holding a high quote based on a string of high-paying studio pics. Studio comedy flicks destroy a comedian if he or she does them exclusively. They cater to a fanbase that doesn't have that great a LOVE for films and erodes a person's loyal fanbase who are disgusted by his performance. Then, when the uncaring hordes have moved onto the next Galifianakis and you've alienated your longtime core, you'll find yourself with a bloated quote that draws nobody. And then it's over.
4. Learn to step away. That's what Seinfeld's done. He's stepping back, doing a few things here and there, as well as rebirthing himself by returning to doing some stand-up. He coulda followed Seinfeld with a thousand neurotic-Jewish-NEw-Yorker-meets-wild-woman bullshit rom coms but instead he's just stepping back to hone his skills. And if he never comes back, he'll still be legendary for his eponymous TV show. If he starts taking some schlock film, he could end up being seen as the next washed up old comedian.

Comedy is a fickle lover. And as such, she must be paid her bounty and respect. If you don't do that, you could find yourself a living embarrassment to all that once made you great.

- Ryan