The Bulletproof QB

                                                       

Kevlar has many uses. The para-aramid synthetic fiber is a high strength material with many applications, from racing sails to body armor. It's a valuable aspect of tennis racquets, basketball shoes, audio equipment, bowstrings, building construction, cables, and fencing equipment. All of these uses are not always associated with the fiber, as they are overshadowed by the public’s knowledge of its ability to protect armies.

Kevlar is utilized in combat helmets, ballistic face masks, and bullet proof vests. Not only that, this indestructible property covers vulnerable portions of aircraft carriers and armored fighting vehicles. They keep evolving the fiber’s uses and now not only does it protect you from IED’s, it also protects you from 320 pound lineman.

Unequal Technologies has developed a military grade, war tested vest that will protect Vick’s brittle ribcage. Although as a diehard animal lover I still cannot fully forget the actions of someone who was mercilessly so cruel to animals that he even makes Hannibal Lector look somewhat human. I do think Vick has changed, but I would be more forgiving if he stopped it BEFORE he was caught. Either way, this article is not about my ideological differences with his supporters but about the product that protects his bird like bones.

When Vick plays, he has the ability to alter an entire game with what appears to be the ease of a normal man changing the TV. Sure Tebow, Newton, RG3, and Aaron Rodgers can run, but they are nowhere near as fast or as elusive as Vick. Not only that, he developed into a solid passer after his stint in the clank and now looks to flick the ball 70 yards. With these natural skills, though, there is something that causes him to be, at times, truly vulnerable. He still does not slide and he runs around the pocket like a chicken with his head cut-off until a window presents itself for a hot second, which is when he heaves the ball. This is when his ribs get pummeled.
                                                      

Vick stated the other day “I don’t think I’m injury-prone at all… I just had a couple of fluke injuries that happened. But it’s not something I’m worried about.” He's only played one 16 game season and I think it would only be fair to look at his “fluke” injuries. In 2003, Vick fractured his right fibula and missed 11 games. In 2010 he suffered a rib cartilage injury. Last season he broke his hand, suffered a concussion, and broke two ribs. This preseason, he's already bruised his ribs and injured his hand. So if Michael Vick is not injury prone, then I’m not a drunk.

 

This man needs protection and it seems like the only possibility to keep him healthy is to use the same material that protects missiles. The CEO of Unequal Technologies stated that he guarantees that this Flak Jacket will not allow Vick to get hurt. So essentially, if Vick does get hurt, can he sue? How about if I get hurt while wearing the vest? Where are the ambulance lawyers when you need them. The company has an endorsement deal with Vick and currently provides products for 24 NFL teams, six NHL teams, and also designs body armor for MLB umpires. This EXO skeleton is light weight, flexible, and durable. They make several products, not just a flak vest, that can be used for a plethora of sports and even make specialized orthotics.

Look, if anything else, this military tested vest sounds badass. The fact that this type of product is necessary proves why the NFL is one of, if not the most violent sports in the world. If Vick’s ‘old man’ ribs remain healthy throughout the season, I feel that with the overwhelming safety pursuit that remains atop the NFL the league should collaborate with the makers in order to continue the progression of ensuring player safety. If worse comes to worse, they will be protected if someone tries to reenact the first scene from the Last Boy Scout.

 

- Kyle