Luke, meet Mickey: How One Geek's Hero's Journey Ended with a $4B Pot of Gold

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

So begins each movie in a franchise which is one of the top in box office receipts ever and which, should you add in merchandising, spin-offs, books, comics, and so on is easily the greatest media property of all time.

Star Wars. These movies are what inspired me to move to Hollywood, to break out of a city which for me might as well have been a moisture farm (the protagonist's residence at the beginning of Episode IV: A New Hope, the first taste of what would become the most popular galaxy you'll never visit). These movies inspired plenty of young filmmakers, geeks, and media men. And the company founded by its Director/Producer George Lucas, Lucasfilm Ltd., just sold to Disney for $4.05 billion dollars with a new Star Wars trilogy now in development. But how did this happen? I mean, shit, did this really all come from some sci-fi movie about robots and space ships?

The answer, simply, is no.

Star Wars is nothing less than the the fanciest telling of the most basic and archetypal story known to man, the story that is the basis of all men's ambitions, of all desires - that is, Star Wars is an epic grounded in the eternal plotline known as the hero's journey.

And in true life imitating art, it's only appropriate that this square from Modesto, a farmy nowhere probably now best known as being the home of George Lucas in the Salinas valley, should pursue his vision of a world that's technologically futuristic but socially and economically borderline medieval (notice there is no branding, no real commerce, no Nikes?) to a $4 billion dollar payday. He's Luke Skywalker. He's a goddamn Horatio Alger story.

And right now, more than ever the world needs Star Wars. It's the ultimate story of right and wrong, of good defeating evil, of the farmboy who comes to power by leaving his hinterland roots behind and taking down an evil galactic empire because he's the diamond in the rough, the chosen one with the power. He doesn't even know what he has until fate takes over and he attains the greatness for which he was destined.

Right now George Lucas must be looking back on that with more than a few tears in his eyes because, Jesus, what kind of man writes his own story? At $4B dollars, he's possibly the wealthiest man in Hollywood (Hollywood has a lot of millionaires but the billionaires list is decidedly shorter - Lucas, Spielberg, Cameron, a couple suits, Oprah) and his name alone can get almost any project red-lit. He's considered a Godfather of modern special effects and modern sound which is why many projects are edited for picture and sound at Skywalker Ranch via either his company Skywalker Sound or his Industrial Light and Magic (both included in the price.) Wonder why they call that certain sound mastering THX sound? Because he invented it, named it after the movie he made in college THX-1138 starring Bobby Duvall as a cyborg or something.

One night you might've been a little blazed and found yourself watching STAR WARS:CLONE WARS ; just know that what you're watching is borderline historic. Why? Because Lucas eschews the sometimes meddlesome Hollywood unions and produces his whole series in-house as a self-contained entity. He doesn't need network money to help make it and as such he gets around any professional regulation. He also then gets all profits when he sells it to series. But in essence, he makes television like nobody else has the money, clout, and ability to do.

And then of course there's the oft-quoted fact that he accepted less money upfront for all merchandising rights on Star Wars - only to find Star Wars toys and memorabilia to be a multi-billion dollar industry. Hell, I spent hundreds of dollars I didn't have on Star Wars toys growing up and for some reason I can't explain I could never get enough. 

Hell, this sale to Disney is just icing on the cake. And as it is he's had his Star Tours rides at Disney for decades. With the braintrust at the mouse house, Star Wars might actually be in better hands than Lucas, whose newest prequels showed a rusty scribe who's lost his ability to control and execute a smooth story arc. The idea that he's stepping away and allowing it to live beyond him is an act of grace and confidence that few auteurs could achieve. Perhaps he's never received an Oscar but what that does is simply point out how off that Academy can be sometimes. I mean c'mon, was NO COUNTRY really better than THERE WILL BE BLOOD?

In the end, really to a certain extent what men are ambitious for is legacy, immortality through our accomplishments and what we've left behind. And while for some that means a nice family, a bunch of money, or a career of successes (and incidentally, yes, he has all of that), to leave behind a whole galaxy - hell a whole universe that's been inspirational to thousands if not millions of creators - that's what most men can only dream of.

So Mr. Lucas, congratulations. Enjoy retirement - I hear you could buy the nation of Greece for cheap. Hopefully episodes 7, 8, and 9 won't suck.

- Ryan

Obama-Romma Final Wrap-Up: In Case You Missed my Brilliant Election Coverage

Well, it's about over. And I for one am fucking glad.

No more nights grinding my teeth and looking for something I can throw at the TV when that bastard lies. Or when the other one holds back the zings because he wants to appear like the guy who plays fair when everybody knows that, considering all the lies and shit flying around, fairplay is long dead; or, at the most fairplay is how one loses honorably.

No more articles arguing not only over what the facts are but who are the people you can actually believe when they outline the facts. If anything, I've learned out that not only is the truth frighteningly dependent on interpretation and technicality but economics is much more of an art than a science seeing as according to various minds and measures Barack Obama is either the biggest spendthrift or most gluttonous cash pig in the history of American presidents.

No more minutes - hell, maybe even hours - wasted on Facebook debates with people I don't even know in most cases, much less people I haven't seen in 5 or 10 years.

Thank fucking God. The die is cast, I should think. That is, if you haven't done enough research to answer in a well-backed statement why you're voting for one of the candidates ("He has a history of corporate success and will help the job-creators who will then turn around and help everybody else." "He will help the most people improve their quality of life and the lives of their children while focusing on putting in place an infrastructure that will hopefully extend America's world supremacy at least a little past the impending twilight.") you'll probably just be voting based on what your parents told you growing up so this whole thing is pointless.

But if you want one last refresher before you make your decision, here's a wrap-up of all the Obama-Romma articles on everything from explaining our nation's economy to showing what they wanna do with health care, how they look on foreign policy, and what each man has actually accomplished over his life.

Week 1: Republican and Democratic National Convention Wrap-ups

Week 2: Foreign Policy

Week 3: American Economic Background

Week 4: Economic Present: Where We Are and What Each Man Stands For

Week 5: A Rant on the Sordidness of Current American Politics

Week 6: The Candidates' Track Records and Accomplishments

Week 7: Health Care By the Numbers, Tax Overview, and the Only Blurb About their Stances on the Environment

So there it is, in case you missed it the first time. A nice collection of a few points you should know and understand in case you're still undecided - or at least want to pretend like you did some research before you just vote for whoever your dad told you to.

- Ryan

Lock-Street Week 8 10.28

Chicago Bears vs. Carolina Panthers (u 43.5)

The Chicago Bears are rolling and the Carolina Panthers are dying quicker than a fat kid on a boogie board in Jaws. The Panthers just fired their longtime General Manager Matt Hurney. They lost a dismal game against an average Cowboys team, 19-14. Last year the Panthers averaged 25.4 ppg, but this year they've scored more than 14 only twice. On the other hand, the Bears' defense is allowing a league-low 13.0 ppg and essentially has been more important to the Bears' team scoring wise than the offense since they have a league-high 21 turnovers forced. This might be the only team in NFL history trying to figure out ways to keep their defense on the field.

Cam Newton is truly feeling the effects of a sophomore slump as he's thrown more picks than TD’s (6-5). He is completing a meager 58.4% of his passes, which might fly in the amateur level but not in the pro’s. He also leads the team in rushing by almost 100 yards which is his one positive, but definitely a team negative as they have not been able to get any momentum with Jonathan Stewart and DeAngelo Williams. Their best receiver, “The Leprechaun” Steve Smith, has a respectable 471 receiving yards but has not caught a TD which could be a testament to Newton’s redzone woes. Is it me, or should Cam Newton and Jay Cutler hang out after a game so they can both sulk together?

Cutler might not be the gunslinger we all know and hate since he bruised his ribs when he was sacked by the powerful Suh last week. The Panthers are allowing 366.2 ypg and 24 ppg, which sounds favorable for the over, but won’t be enough to compensate for the Panthers' inability to score. Even though their defensive leader is out for the season, Jon Beason, they still have studs in James Anderson and safety Charles Godrey, who play hard enough just to barely lose games. For the Bears, Charles Tillman might be the most impressive defensive player in the league. Yea, you heard me JJ Watt. With Urlacher still playing strong even though he has 1 knee (he's somehow still around, like Jigsaw), Julius Peppers getting to the ball quickly, and Lance Briggs maintaining the second tier of their defense, the Bears might devour other teams like the horror movie Grizzly on their path to Super bowl glory.

New York Giants (-1.5) vs. Dallas Cowboys

The G-men seek revenge Freddy Krueger style on a team that came out reeling and dominated the Giants the first game of the season. Like most analysts, I thought the Giants would once again play another mediocre regular season and get stuck on the bubble of the playoffs at the end, but they seemed to have righted the ship. By the way, it’s weird that the Giants feel more at home at Dallas’s stadium then the ‘Boys do since the G-men are 3-0 in Dallas. Home Field advantage my ass.

Eli Manning and crew are averaging 29.3 ppg while the Cowboys score an average of 18.8 ppg. The G-men’s 3 headed monster of Bradshaw, Brown, and Wilson average more than 5 yards per carry while Eli holds the advantage of passing ypg over his rival, Tony Romo. 295-278. Oh and Sean Lee, the Cowboys leading tackler, is out for the rest of the season with a torn ligament in his right big toe. I mean, what a pussy. Who needs toes anyway? The Cowboys do have the untouchable D. Ware and future stud Claiborne in their secondary, but overall, their defense has not been exceeding expectations. Their best d-lineman, Jay Ratliff, has been a walking injury this year. On the other side, the Giant’s front seven might be the best in game with a defensive line that contains a plethora of animals in Justin Tuck, Chris “Shredder” Canty, JPP, and Osi. Their linebackers are not bad with Michael Boley and Kiwanuka, and while their secondary in my opinion is suspect, Tony Romo won’t have time to analyze his reads. I feel bad for the guy and every QB who has to face this smoking squad.

New Orleans (+6) vs. Denver

These Saints are starting to march as their offense seems to be clicking. Oh wait, their offense has always been decent, but their defense has been absolutely abysmal since they haven't scored less than 24 points a game and while they started the season off 0-4, they lost by an average of 5 points. The last two weeks they've won by an average of 7 points. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing besides the fact that they are finally finding ways to win and like a great defense, their offense will continue to keep them in games.

Peyton Manning is back, tell your friends. You have to be an idiot to think he was gone for good. His game management, understanding of defenses, game planning, and anticipation is as super human as Blade and allows him to dissects defenses like Ghostface. He would dominate a defense with my arm for god sakes. That being said, Drew Brees is almost as good if not better as he continues to murder records. He annihilated the most-yards-in-a-season record last year and as recently as a few weeks ago broke the record for most consecutive games with a TD. Plus, both teams have similar weapons as the Broncos Demaryius Thomas and Eric Decker are similar to Marques Colston and Lance Moore. While the Broncos have a better rushing game with Willis McGahee, the Saints have a better TE in Jimmy Graham.

On the defensive sides, the Saints finally get their heart, soul, and bounty bookie Vilma back as well as D-end Will Smith. The Broncos has some heavy hitters in Von Miller, Dumervil, and the ageless Champ Bailey. Seeing how the saints average 411 ypg and the Broncos average 385 ypg, defenses will be nonexistent as you will be able to witness fireworks. This is going to be a high scoring, close game as both teams are very similar.

Record

Week 7

2-1
Week 6

1-2

Week 5

1-2

Week 4


3-0

Week 3


2-1

Week 2

1-2

Week 1


0-1

LOCK STREET TOTAL RECORD

10-10

Big in Iran: What's Really Goin' on with those Sneaky Persians?

I have no idea how I ended up here. I was in Egypt, partying, storming through the beer revolution as the country bought into a Moslem dictatorship. Sure, that Moslem Brotherhood may be actually one of the best governments in the middle east for now - but I don't trust any leader that the U.S. didn't put into power...

But anyway, I was at a whorehouse in Cairo, candy flipping and next thing I knew I woke up here. In Tehran. In a burned out old building that used to be a StarCups, the Iranian version of Starbucks, or so I could gather from the toothless wench robbing my wallet.

But I'm an absolute professional, can't let a little blackout/hangover/geographic dispersion stop me from filing a report. Hell, you bastards are still promising to pay my expenses. So here it is: I'm in Iran.

Iran. Home to Academy Award winner A SEPARATION and America's #1 enemy depending on which week you ask Mitt Romney (we have so many: Russia, China, Cuba - it rotates week to week depending on who did what where - I think Libya's back up there. And to think, we'd finally forgiven them for killing Doc.

But no, Iran is a modern nation. I walked out into the streets and was immediately greeted by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, or was it Ayatollah Khamenei, blaring over a microphone, announcing that the country was doing great, making inroads to Asia, and soon would be able to exist without the infidel's oil money, praise Allah. Good. Goddamn infidels, coming in a fucking shit up.

Still, the streets looked empty. A lot of ghost storefronts. But hell, according to Mitt Romney they're gonna have nuclear weapons any day and when that happens, shit, we're looking at the new Russia. All because that damn Barack HUSSAIN Obama went around apologizing and trying to be easy on the nation, trying to make friends with our sworn enemies. The Spartans didn't try to talk things through with Xerxes. No, they killed his best soldiers and their elephants and shit and won the battle with only 300 men. Just like America.

As I stumbled around the city, proudly waving my American flag and yelling out that I was a journalist, I felt somebody throw his arms around me, pull me into a dark shadow.

"Christ, what do you want?"

"What are you doing? Trying to get killed?"

"What? I heard Obama's been bending over backwards for Iran, America's probably as popular as Jesus over here."

"Oh, Jesus, then you have not heard? The Iranian government will be bankrupt soon. America and Europe's sanctions have crippled us. The rial has lost half of its value and we have only about 85 billion dollars' worth of financial reserves. After that - after that we will not be able to purchase imports. Just a few months. That is when the troubles will start."

"Well serves you bastards right, enriching uranium."

"Myself and the other teachers at University of Tehran and our many middle class merchants, respectable citizens caught in our leaders' pissing matches, we have been trying to convince them to stop the enrichment. We don't care about the supposed nuclear power when we are starving. The allied nations will break us and then where will we be, eh?"

"I don't know. But at least it's better than having Romney, eh?"

"No. Romney, he will eschew diplomacy and look to attack. That will convince other nations to rally to our help, especially Russia and China, Mitt Romney's sworn enemies. Maybe even Europe - everybody will try to distance themselves from him. Except maybe the Egyptian deposed and the limeys. And Israel but, hey, really, what is Israel but the scrawny little brother Americans constantly have to protect from the bullies in the neighborhood?"

Just then a bomb went off. And I ran outside to find people running through the streets like it was Cinco de Mayo. And that's when something hit me in the head and knocked me out.

Now I'm waking up on this ship, in a well-appointed room locked from the outside, though I do have an internet connection. Where this boat is going, I have no idea.

- Oscar Gam, Foreign Correspondent

 

Halloween: The Final Week of Horror

Fall is truly a majestic season. The changing of the colors, altering the standard green leaves into an eclectic mix of warm colors. America’s sport, football, is reigning supreme while the US pastime, baseball, is playing in the midst of the bitter playoffs. The air is crisp and we begin to feel that excited anticipation of the upcoming holidays. With that being said, the first holiday up is Halloween and seeing how all Hallow's Eve is only a week away, it's time to hunker down and get in your fix of horror before you need to wait another year. October provides us with that jolt of emotion very rarely felt in our daily lives, fear. If you've followed our blog, you will have learned that I am a passionate horror fan. Maybe this was gained through countless years being made to watch horror films with my mother who was usually forced to watch these movies and shows in seclusion due to the fact that my father has never be one to endure them. I believe this developed interest trickled to more hobbies including reading. Some find it difficult to be scared while reading a book as you don't have the visuals, but if you've ever been ensconced in a well written horror novel by yourself at night, you'll feel the effects that the writer is trying to provoke. While last year, I wrote about the scariest movies of all time, I thought it was only fitting to broaden this to some good old TV and books.



Television

AMC is in the midst of their FearFest marathon as they have been showing horror films from the 13th-31st. While last week, they immersed us in the Friday the 13th slasher films ( I would stay away from the dreadful Jason Takes Manhattan and Jason X), this week’s star is Michael Myers and the Halloween movies (Hopefully they do not show the 3rd movie in this collection seeing how it has nothing to do with anything). Besides starring Jason and Michael, they also show such infamous movies such as Pet Sematary, From Dusk till Dawn, Jeepers Creepers, Land of the Dead, Cujo, and several great classics. Besides this, AMC is where you can find the Walking Dead on Sunday nights, which is one of the best shows on TV let alone horror based.



Syfy hosts it’s own horror marathon called 31 days of Halloween. Their movies leave much to be desired as it usually consists of either lower budget non-hits or the worst of a franchise (Tomorrow they will be showing the worst Pumpkinheads and Nightmare on Elm Streets). The movies on tap for the rest of the days include Halloween H2O, The Mist, Pulse, and Rise of the Zombies. If you haven’t heard of those last two, there's a reason for this. Now, if you are a reality buff then Syfy is your joint. They maintain the Halloween theme year round with such reality shows as Ghost Hunters, Paranormal Witness, and Face Off. Their new show Haven, based on a novel by Stephen King, is suppose to have terrifying elements, but overall, keep the TV on AMC.

Like the previous two, ABC Family maintains the Halloween spirit through their 13 Nights of Halloween. This would be the best option if you enjoy Halloween but can’t handle anything scary or are watching with your kids. Their movies range from the Scooby Doo flicks, Adams Family and Adams Family Values, Hocus Pocus, The Mummy, Beetljuice, and animated hits like Monster House. The extent of their fear filled movies are the Poltergeist trilogy, but as we all know, those movies are more well done than actually fear evokers.



Besides, ABC SyFy, and AMC, for those who like their horror diluted and even comedic or have children, keep an eye out on Halloween themed episodes of such shows as the Office, Parks and Recreation, The Simpsons. For those who do enjoy fear, but only want to watch horror based shows not listed above, keep an eye out for the scary and ever so creepy American Horror Story on Wednesdays at 10pm on FX, 666 Park Avenue on ABC on Sundays at 10, and Grimm on Fridays at 9pm.



Books


Alright, so it's been a difficult process of trying to figure out how to pull together the best horror novels written so I thought that the only best possible option would be to organize by the best authors. Obviously, each individual has his or her own opinion, especially when it comes to books, but the best horror writers are those who have developed their craft around the genre in order to perfect it, which is why in my personal opinion it's good to read those who have several top-tier horror novels, not just writers who try a one-off to change things up.

Stephen King-There might never be a better horror writer than Stephen King. He has the ability to invoke mind-altering fear through the best character development and by paying attention to each minute detail. His options are extensive but here are 3 of the best:

The Shining
IT
Salem’s Lot

James Herbert- So there are several better horror writers, but UK’s pride and joy is the current horror leader. While he misses on weak character development, he still does a good job of still invoking fear
The Fog
The Dark

Edgar Allen Poe- All you need to do is read his short stories and poems to realize how crazy this man truly was. He's the Dali of literature only more of his works were based around horror than tripping.
Complete set: Stories and Poems

Dean Koontz-Probably the best ability to mix horror and sci-fi
Phantoms
Watchers

Robert McCammon-His premises are always terrifying
They Thirst
Stinger
Swan Song

Clive Barker-He’s simply a man who understands mind fucking. Besides writing horror; he directed Hellraiser, Produced Candyman and The Midnight Meat Train among others. I still don’t know what the fuck happened in Candyman, but I do know that it made me think…I think.
The Hellbound Heart
The Damnation Game



Other Books
Dracula-Bram Stoker
I Am Legend-Richard Matheson
Dunwich Horror and Others- H.P. Lovecraft
Rosemary’s Baby-Ira Levin



This should be more than enough to get you through the next week. If not, just watch this over and over.

-Kyle

Obama-Romma wk. 7: The One-Sheet on Health care, Taxes, and the Environment

 So after the final debate last night, all we've got left is a couple weeks of stump speeches, a bunch of emails and articles, some heated Facebook discussions and then BOOM, November 6th we will elect the man we deem most fit to lead our nation through the next 4 years. By now you should have a decent idea what each man stands for, what each one believes, and what each will do going forward - or at least as good of an idea as you might be able to glean from whichever of the two politicos you support. Since last night was all about their foreign policy, here's a little cheat sheet comparing their policies on important issues affecting our citizenry at home (health care determines most directly whether individual people live or die; taxes determine what we give to our country; the environment determines how we can breathe, drink, and, even more important, how our children can).

TAXES

OBAMA
Their tax plans have been the most discussed parts of their positions. Obama wants to raise taxes on all people making more than $250k a year to a maximum rate of 39.6% and raising capital gains taxes to 28% while cutting corporate taxes to 32% from 35%. Interestingly enough, mostly what this is doing is letting Bush-era tax drops put in place between 2001 and 2003 expire. He will also start throwing out deductions, both corporate and private and closing various tax loopholes. The idea is that any moves executed by W. Bush obviously were horrible for the economy. And, on the other side, America has often been at its most productive and content when top tax rates were over 50%, with our WWII / post-depression recovery fueled by top taxes of 85%.

ROMNEY
Romney wants to continue the low tax rates we currently have - actually he wants to lower taxes for everybody. No, wait, he just said he wants to keep them the same for the top 5%. Yeah, eat that, richers. So how will he cut the deficit? By putting in a lot of deductions, though he still hasn't said which deductions. He did balance the deficit in Boston, though that was with the help of a big Federal grant and spending cuts which, among other things, raised the price of local colleges by 60-some percent.

Something I'm worried about with both is whether limiting the deductions individuals can get for donations will cut back donations to charities which will be getting gutted by Romney for sure and possibly Obama. But since nobody has said what deductions and loopholes they're cutting, it's hard to say.

Here's the summary:

Obama wants to return taxes to what they were during the Clinton Golden Years to pay down the deficit - and analysts have said it could cut it down by half to two-thirds - but continue taxes at the same level for Middle class and below.

Romney wants to cut taxes for everybody. And somehow make it up by closing these magical loopholes.

ENVIRONMENT

As I got into this I realized it isn't even fair. Romney specifically said he doesn't give a fuck about the environment, doesn't care about tomorrow's floods and melting ice caps and the reduction of national parks which, at least for me, are some of the only life-affirmingly-beautiful places left in the world. He figures tomorrow can take care of itself. That this is a problem better pushed aside for the more important issues of economics and whatnot. I don't agree with that but I can understand the idea of it. Shortsighted, yes. Dangerous for our future - almost surely. But there's an old saying, when you're in a street fight you gotta fight each person 1 at a time and take the beating from the others as you slowly work your way through - if you try to Jackie Chan them all, you'll most likely lose. So if you think paying less in taxes is worth sacrificing Federal Lands, the health of rural water supplies, and the cleanness of the air we breathe, then you're in agreement with Mr. Romney. If you believe in the government investing in solar and other alternative energies, including some really radical guys who are turning algae into crude using cutting edge biochemistry (not kidding you, met one of their scientists last week), and if you don't think we have to sacrifice the health of our lands, water, and air to improve the current state of the economy and our national well-being, Obama's your man.

HEALTH CARE

Last year I fucked up my AC joint - basically, a mushy labrum allowed my shoulder to pop so far out of joint that it snapped the tendon anchoring my collar bone to my arm. I went to the ER and they sais it was a simple sprain and when I asked for more information the doctor just, like, sneered and walked away. It took a few months of constant pain for me to realize that something was seriously wrong. So I went to my primary care physician, who sent me to get an X-Ray. Then I had to come back to him and he referred me to a shoulder doctor. He said it would probably be one surgery, then sent me to get an MRI. I came back and he said it needed to be another surgery so I set up a last pre-meeting before the surgery. One more visit and another $30 copay, homeboy says simply that my insurance doesn't cover the hospital where he does surgery so he needs to refer me to somewhere else. Repeat the process with another shoulder doctor. 3 more visits and, finally, I get my torn labrum sewn up. It was a simple, somewhat basic outpatient surgery and yet it took about 6 months from injury to final surgery to actually get it taken care of, not to mention the countless wasted hours and dollars. It's no secret that America's health care system is fucked up. And I have some ideas on how to fix it which I won't get into here because they're drastically different from both plans and, honestly, I haven't had all the time to run the numbers.

So here we are - of all these issues, this is the one that will affect the most people. Everybody gets sick, everybody gets hurt. And even more, should Romney win he has said the first thing he does will be to repeal Obamacare. 

So here are the two candidates' Healthcare Plans, side by side:

What it affects?	ObamaCare	RomneyCare (2012, not RomneyCare 2004, which is basically ObamaCare)
Price of Insurance	Obamacare has put in place regulations (MLR or Medical Loss Regulation) and measuring sticks for Insurance premiums and requires Insurance companies to spend the money most efficiently	Leave insurance as it is, the market is the ultimate corrector.
What that Means	Insurance companies are forced to show how the insurance money is spent. If it's revealed too much goes to administrative costs or top-heavy power structures, sales bonuses and such - basically anything but patient care - rates are dropped and refunds issued. In some cases that means rate drops of as much as 20% and in others it means preventing increases of as much as 80% (California)	Insurance companies will compete against each other and surely that will lead to greater efficiency and cost savings. The whole idea of laissez faire economics is that the market will always correct itself.
Problems	If you don't trust government, you don't trust them telling your insurance agency what to do. Even more, if you have insurance you pay for, isn't it unfair to have your taxes go to paying for regulations that benefit other people?	The market doesn't correct itself, especially not for HMO patients. Every year America's health care costs rise while our world ranking for quality of care drops because insurance companies go for the most profits, not for what benefits the most people.
Pre-Existing Conditions	Insurance companies can't deny you for pre-existing conditions or charge you higher rates, nor can they drop you upon growing sick. Lifted from RomneyCare '04	If you have insurance they can't drop you. Which passed in 1996. Otherwise, what insurance companies do is up to the individual states. So if you're uninsured and find out you have cancer - and your state's Red - well, good luck with that.
Universal Healthcare?	Not exactly - Obamacare makes a declaration that all Americans must be insured and so everybody is required to buy insurance.	Your healthcare is your choice - if you don't want to sacrifice all that money you spend on your 40's and copies of SCARFACE and whatnot, you don't gotta get insured. Just don't get sick.
What that Means	Another 22M people will be covered. It also keeps people from waiting until they're sick to get insurance which WOULD raise premiums unnaturally. This was lifted from Romneycare '04.	A government shouldn't require its people to protect themselves and, even more, everybody should be responsible for himself and his own family.
Problems	The Republicans say this requirement that all people pay for insurance is the very nanny state George Orwell warned us about. And if you can't afford private insurance, you can get Obamacare insurance for about $95 a year or 1% of income, whichever is more. Which will most likely mean people making more money will pick up the difference.	A very fervent right-winger once told me in his opinion a government's role is solely to protect its people. He of course meant having a big army but what about other threats, enemies like Cancer or AIDS? What if a terrorist set off a dirty bomb or put anthrax in the water supply - would uninsured people be able to get treatment then since it's technically protecting the citizens?
Business/ Corporate Insurance	Employers with more than 50 employees must either offer its employees a health care option or pay $2k per employee who uses one of the government exchanges instead of an employer plan	They can do what they want.
What that Means	This will extend insurance to another few million people. Also, since this is a deduction for companies it can be written off as an expense and, even more, Obama's plan provides insurance tax subsidies and cuts for small businesses.	Nothing changes.
Problems	Makes it even more expensive for companies to hire new employees, though it might be offset by premiums dropping thanks to the MLR - though that's not likely. Also tough on seasonal businesses.	It doesn't help anybody else get insured but on the other side it doesn't cost more. Profits are all a business is responsible; the wellbeing of its employees isn't really important.
Medicaid	Extends Medicaid to about 17M people who previously would not have qualified	Not only cuts the Medicaid extensions, also cuts Federal Funding by about $1.7T by turning Medicaid funding and management over to the states. Each state would get a set block grant to distribute however they wish.
Problems	Will cost more government money	Could lead to as many as 20M people losing their Medicaid eligibility who for all intents and purposes can't afford to buy private insurance.
Medicare	Will cut Medicare by $716B over the next 10 years by using the large amount of government spending and influence to limit payments to hospitals and push for greater efficiency and visibility in where those expenditures are going.	Under Romney's plan, Medicare is distributed as a voucher  - essentially, every recipient gets a set amount from the government they can apply to getting their own health care plan. Should their plan exceed their alottment, they have to pay the difference.
Problems	It could limit what hospitals will accept Medicare goiong forward. Also, things like dropping the prices of expensive prescriptions will be accomplished by raising taxes on people making over $250k a year.	While Romney argues that this will promote competition among insurance plans which should make it self-regulating, a Kaiser study based on a similar Ryan plan says it could cost 7 our of 10 people more. However, Romney's camp claims there will be no out-of-pocket expenses or increases.

So there it is. Draw your own conclusions. Do your own research. And
	decide what you think will better help you and your family - and even more, what will ensure your nation is healthy and strong, the top key to making sure our nation can defend itself.
		- Ryan

007's Top 5: The Hotbodies Who Inspired the Exploits of Commander Boner Through the Ages

On November 9^th the new James Bond movie, Skyfall, opens in US cinemas. What a perfect excuse this presents to ponder the 50 year film franchise, and what better way to celebrate the best of Bond than by remembering the top five Bond babes, one for each decade.  

Bond 1962 to 1971 – The Connery Era (George Lazenby did of course sneak in here for On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – but this was such a shit film it is omitted from the list). 

Films: 

Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, & Diamonds are Forever. 

Babes:

The obvious cliché here is Ursula Andress in her Gold Bikini and she is definitely hard to beat, especially because if it wasn’t for her, the entire genre of bond girls might not exist; well, I suppose unless bond became gay.  There were always going to be women in his films and else does a spy unwind? I guarantee Jason Bourne is knee deep in vagina.

Nonetheless, Ursula was so adored that as a homage, Halle Berry performed a similar scene in Die Another Day:

 

Who wore it better? Who cares?

However, to pick Ursula is to express no opinion at all, and what’s the point of that? Therefore Claudine Auger (Domino from Thunderball) instead wins the babe spot from Connery Era.  It’s a shame she couldn’t afford a wet suit that fit her properly. I bet her thighs were freezing. 

Miss 007 1960's: Claudine Auger

In the 1983 unofficial Bond flick, Never Say NeverAgain which was loosely a spin-off of Thunderball, Domino pops up again but this time played by Kim Basinger. She also needs a good shaking not stirring, but given that Never Say Never Again was not an EON-Produced film, and because Connery is by this point way too old to be JB, she won’t qualify for this top 10 unfortunately. That said, she’s still an absolute corker nonetheless:

Bond 1972 to 1981 – The Early Moore Years

Films: 

Live and let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, and For Your Eyes Only.

Roger Moore, is the most effeminate of all the bonds. He’s the kind of Bond you liked as a kid before you understood that Bond’s raison d’etre is not witty one liners, it’s to slay as many women as possible. Once you hit 12/13 and you have to sit on your hands to stop masturbating furiously every hour of the day, you realize that in the real world Moore is nothing but a Nancy boy and would never have a shot with beautiful women. But movies aren’t reality, and Roger had the chance to play opposite some stunners. 

In Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Jane Seymore was crying out to be ravished by Indians and pilgrims but in Live and Let Die she's a goddess. She plays the old “vulnerable psychic virgin routine” perfectly. 

In the Spy Who Loved Me, Barbara Bach oozes sex. However, she’s also just a bit manly, which is why she can’t make the top of this group. She’s the sort of woman who would bench press you immediately after ejaculation, and a great Bond Girl needs to be useless once she's off her back. It’s her job to make James look good. If she starts becoming too much like Xena the Warrior Princess then she loses points and unfortunately, Barbara crosses that line. In this shot she even looks like Xena:

 

Therefore, the winner for this decade is Brit Ekland (“Goodnight” in The Man With The Golden Gun). She’s beauty, she spends a decent part of the movie in a bikini, and she’s also completely useless. That about checks all the boxes

Ms. 007 1970's: Brit Ekland

 Bond 1982 to 1991 –Late Moore and Dreary Dalton

Films: 

Octopussy, A View to a Kill, The Living Daylights and License to Kill.

This is an easy one. It’s obviously the one with eight vaginas! Maud Adams, the Swedish Sensation, was an absolute stunner in this pretty mediocre movie. Please insert joke about Nadya Suleman here. 

Ms. 007 1980's: Maude Adams

 

In A View to a Kill, Stacey Sutton also makes a lovely appearance. 

Unfortunately, Grace Jones is also in that movie and immediately squashes even the slightest hint of an erection. That’s a woman who wouldn’t only bench press you following copulation, she’d dead lift you, bicep curl you, and then strap on a large phallus and bugger you. 

Timothy Dalton was obviously a cunt and evidently seen to be so even when he was making his films. That’s why they didn’t give him anything good to rub up against. The blond from the Living Daylights was an absolute rotter.  The only good aspect from his Bond tenure was Lupe Lamora from License to Kill. But even then, I think he only got to cuddle with her. At the very most, all he managed was to slip her a dry digit.

Bond 1992 to 2002 –Pierce Brosnan – (You’re Irish, but I’ll let you off the bloody hook)

Films: 

Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World is Not Enough & Die Another Day

After two shit films, Dalton got the elbow and we prayed for a new bond that would finally recapture the smooth agent everyone had failed to bring post Connery. In Brosnan, we finally got that. It was obviously rather upsetting that this talent couldn’t be sourced within the British Isles, a people renowned for their suaveness and sophistication; but nonetheless, Brosnan finally made Bond cool again. Unfortunately, Goldeneye was the only good film he made, (the opening sequence when he bungee jumps off the dam is fucking epic!), but even though the next three films sucked balls, at least it was believable that attractive women would fawn after him. 

Izabella Scorupco, (Natalya from Goldeneye) is flaming gorgeous in this Bond promo snap, even though she didn’t look nearly as good in the film:

 

In Tomorrow Never Dies, Teri Hatcher makes an appearance, but while she was a head turner in The New Adventures of Superman, she was a bit past her sell-by-date in this film. 

In The World Is Not Enough, Sophie Marceau and Denise Richards pop up, but both have to be ruled out for separate reasons. Sophie, because she’s missing half her ear and unless you’re Mike Tyson or Vincent Van Gogh that’s not titillating, and Denise doesn’t get a shot at the title because why bother perving at her in this when you can just watch Wild Things?

Therefore the top bond girl of this decade has to go to Halle Berry, much as it pains me to say it. Thank god there is not an opportunity for an acceptance speech for this very prestigious award. Nobody likes a crier – especially an ugly crier. Her boobs are probably the only aspect that makes Swordfish worth watching.

Ms. 007 1990's - Halle Berry

Bond 2003 – Today – Bond Meets Bourne 

Without doubt, Daniel Craig is the best bond ever. He’s fucking stacked, he’s smooth, and he’s got a classic upper-class English accent. He’s the embodiment of Ian Fleming’s vision. Casino Royale was fucking quality and once again, Bond fans thought we were back on track. But just as we started to get our hopes up, Quantum of Solace took a shit on them. So heaven help us if Skyfall isn’t an on-screen orgasm.  We have also been let down by women in both of Craig’s past movies. However, hopefully that's about to change. Certainly, if this paparazzi snap of Bérénice Marlohe taking out her trash is anything to go on, we have a treat in store for us:

Berenice Marlohe - the Greatest New Bondgirl?

 Just imagine what she’ll look like when she’s made up. For now, she can hold the top spot in this category, but as I’m yet to see the film, I cannot guarantee her first place. However, if you’re reading this Bérénice, I’d be open to meeting up to get a sneak preview. How do you feel about Color Me Mine? 

For the rest of you, you'll have to settle for the trailer.

- Guest Author and Manhattan-dwelling British raconteur/playboy James