AL EAST-The Battle for the Post Life

It has drama, hate, respect, appreciation, and gossip. Some of its main characters grace the pages of such junk magazines as US Magazine and People. Their souls diminish into complete stereotypes. Viewers follow their favorite group so passionately that they would rather see another go in a deep spiral of failure than their own succeed. If you thought I was talking about an episode of Gossip girl, you could be right. Are you correct? FUCK NO. I’m talking about the AL East. This division is the most competitive in all of the sports and right now; there is nothing better to watch than this race.

Growing up in this division of titans, I have experience the defeating feeling that goes along with playing against these emperors of the game. Well, let’s just say last night’s Wild Card Wednesday was full of the excitement that one can only get from banging a virgin. Let’s break down the stats.

The Orioles, (69-93), also known as Channing Tatum of the AL EAST (How the fuck does that guy get work?) was the biggest goddamn factor in this year’s AL Wild Card race. It’s as if Step-Up was an Oscar nom. The Orioles were invited to the awards and managed to gain some of the spotlight. With the swift hit of a Robert Andino hit, he pushed the quaking Redsox (90-72) out of Wild card Contention. The Red Sox, going into September with a 9 game lead in the AL East, squandered a huge lead.

The Devil Rays (91-71) might have the least appreciative fans, but they play hard in and out. They had the fight against the Evil Empire (97-65) that has locked up the division already. Now while they are playing to keep healthy the talent their bottomless hole of cash allows them to put up the fight every night. Down 7 runs in the 8^th inning, their shitty fans making their way to the exit, the Rays came back in epic fashion to get to 7-6 in that one inning. In the 9^th, 2 strikes, 2 outs, dry-spell Dan Johnson up at a bat, he rockets one to the promise land sending this intense battle of Endor into extra innings. In the 12^th, the Rays took over and do what they did best, WON. It’s as if in the 8^th, they did a bunch of blow and started crushing shots out of the park. They have overcome the largest September deficit to make the postseason playoffs in baseball history.


- Kyle