Kyle's Lock-Street - 9/30/11

Last night, my roommates and I decided to head down to our local watering hole to partake in a male ritual that has gone back generations. Taking advantage of a ludicrious Thirsty Thursday special at our version of McSwiggens - I’m man enough to admit that I enjoy How I Met Your Mother - we guzzled multiple Lax Sodas, played darts, and watched football. During our malking (Man Talk), we discuss the intricacies of taking drugs, the beautiful dance of courting prostitutes, and sports.

After several lax sodas, the discussion of gambling came up. Now let me give you a little background on this topic. I am a degenerate gambler, my friends are degenerate gamblers, and the worst part about it is we don’t have any money. For instance, a simple game of darts or FIFA turns into $50 a head or $10 a head on who can crush their beer first. head on who can crush their beer first. Now while these small escapes help manage our addiction for throwing money away, we really go deep on Pro Sports.

Last night, my roommates, Mick and Nate, decided to bet on USF over Pitt. USF was -3.5, which means they are essentially needed to win by 4 points or more to cover. This appeared to be a lock as USF (16 in the land) was playing stifling D like a crack addict looking for a rock and, with a quarterback who was making it Rain like Pacman Jones, they were destined to beat the lowly Panthers. It was a 4-0 team vs. a 2-2 team that had previously lost to a team that USF had beaten. This obvious smashing was on the corner of Lock Street and Easy Winning Avenue. After watching 1 half of football, we realized that there was an issue. One that deep pre-game analysis would not allow you to see. This issue was a pint sized, 5-9, 195 Junior named Jimmy Graham. And there is the x-factor that could not be foreseen. This little heap of power ran for 226 yards and two TD’s and caught the skin for 42 yards. Goddamn this asshole. He’s crashing our party.

There is no exact science to sports gambling. If this were not a lucrative industry, then there would not be 1000 avenues that allow a slob like me to partake. In the end it is very rare to come out a winner, but why do we put money down on sports we love and teams we don’t give a flying fuck about? It’s because, as my roommate Mick mentioned, “It’s fucking fun”. It’s sort of like, alcohol makes ugly girls hot, betting makes shitty games fun.

What the hell am I rambling about, you ask? Each week, I’m going to discuss my sports locks of the week in hopes it guides you to financial bliss. I will make this disclaimer; I will not make you money. As mentioned before, there are no such things as a true lock. That’s why it is called gambling and not welfare. I will, however, give you some decent games to bet on with my analysis. If you don’t like it or disagree with my thought process, well then you can go fuck yourself. I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head, although there are a lot of people I would like to.

Lock-Street

9/30

Biggest Locks of the night

1. Under on the Yankees<>Tigers game. (7). Two pitching titans playing in spotlight equals an old–fashioned pitching fest. If you like boring, low run games, then this is the game for you. Justin Verlander vs. CC Sabathia. Let’s look at the stats. This season, Verlander is 24-5 with a 2.40 ERA and Sabathia is 19-8 with a 3.00 ERA. Combine their ERA’s are lower than the over-under. Also, Verlander is the hottest pitcher in baseball right now and CC dominates in the playoffs.

2. Rays at plus 1.5. They are feeling confident and bringing that swagger to Texas. Longoria is on a hot streak and should not be dismissed. Granted, Texas is currently 14-16 recently; the Rays have played each and every game in September like it is a playoff game and have flourished. At this point they are used to the pressure. Not only will they cover, they will start this serious

Best of luck.

- Kyle

AL EAST-The Battle for the Post Life

It has drama, hate, respect, appreciation, and gossip. Some of its main characters grace the pages of such junk magazines as US Magazine and People. Their souls diminish into complete stereotypes. Viewers follow their favorite group so passionately that they would rather see another go in a deep spiral of failure than their own succeed. If you thought I was talking about an episode of Gossip girl, you could be right. Are you correct? FUCK NO. I’m talking about the AL East. This division is the most competitive in all of the sports and right now; there is nothing better to watch than this race.

Growing up in this division of titans, I have experience the defeating feeling that goes along with playing against these emperors of the game. Well, let’s just say last night’s Wild Card Wednesday was full of the excitement that one can only get from banging a virgin. Let’s break down the stats.

The Orioles, (69-93), also known as Channing Tatum of the AL EAST (How the fuck does that guy get work?) was the biggest goddamn factor in this year’s AL Wild Card race. It’s as if Step-Up was an Oscar nom. The Orioles were invited to the awards and managed to gain some of the spotlight. With the swift hit of a Robert Andino hit, he pushed the quaking Redsox (90-72) out of Wild card Contention. The Red Sox, going into September with a 9 game lead in the AL East, squandered a huge lead.

The Devil Rays (91-71) might have the least appreciative fans, but they play hard in and out. They had the fight against the Evil Empire (97-65) that has locked up the division already. Now while they are playing to keep healthy the talent their bottomless hole of cash allows them to put up the fight every night. Down 7 runs in the 8^th inning, their shitty fans making their way to the exit, the Rays came back in epic fashion to get to 7-6 in that one inning. In the 9^th, 2 strikes, 2 outs, dry-spell Dan Johnson up at a bat, he rockets one to the promise land sending this intense battle of Endor into extra innings. In the 12^th, the Rays took over and do what they did best, WON. It’s as if in the 8^th, they did a bunch of blow and started crushing shots out of the park. They have overcome the largest September deficit to make the postseason playoffs in baseball history.


- Kyle

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is winning

Floyd Mayweather Jr. won the match last weekend with a TKO on what many believe to be an erroneous combination. Ortiz was blindsided by two punches that sent him spiraling down. The critics have gone on to say that FMJ exemplifies everything that is wrong with boxing nowadays; no integrity, strictly flash, no respect for the game or his opponent, etc… but what did he lose? Honestly, the answer is nothing. I’m not a big Fan of the current Clubber Lang, but I can safely say he came out of this better than before and here is why:

1. Making it Rain

FMJ made a disgusting amount of money this weekend as he strolled to a big pay day. He made $40 million in four rounds. That’s $10 mil a round. Ortiz only received $2 million dollars. What can $40 millions buy the eccentric FMJ who would rather buy bling than pay his taxes (At one point this man owed over $19 mil)? I bet there was a Randy Moss stipulation in that contract on how they would pay him, “Straight Cash Homey.”

2. Buy back his bling

In 2008, this man of flash had $7 million worth of jewelry stolen from him. $7,000,000. For this amount of money, you can buy:

* 10 Ferrari Enzos

* 333 Honda accords

* 538,461 movie tickets

* 70,000 pieces of jewelry for a normal human

3. Love the hate

Mayweather might be the only boxer who loves to be hated. He’s flashy, he’s gaudy, he’s egotistical, he’s ignorant, and he does not really give a FUCK what you think of him. In fact, it’s this persona that contributes to fans in the stands and him getting paid… BIG

4. Winning

Hey, a win is a win. There are no style points in boxing. He retains his undefeated streak and the welterweight title. Besides this punch, he was dominating anyway. Either way he would have won this fight. Ortiz was owned and Mayweather offered him a rematch. Honestly, Ortiz made out better by all of this controversy and should stay away from that rematch.


- Kyle

Blood, Sweat, and Rum: THE RUM DIARY Preview

There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s hit the end of the road. There’s only 3 ways to handle such an occurrence. One is to turn back, retrace your steps and start over in a different direction at the last fork you took. The second is to just give up. Find a nice, cozy hovel at that place, hunker down for a life of regret and self-loathing, sure, why not? Keep heavy drink and drug on hand and just let that ride you out until your maker finally claims you. The third option is to get on a boat, or perhaps an airplane, and go off the roads altogether. Find a new world, one not linked to the path that just ended. All roads lead to Rome, perhaps that’s true for some people. But no roads in Puerto Rico lead anywhere.

Or so says Hunter S. Thompson.

Yes, the great king of Gonzo himself, the last prophet of the modern world, a true genius of the highest caliber and the lowest mind wrote a book based on his experiences working for some low-rent English-speaking newspaper in Puerto Rico just as it went from savage to colonialized. He named the thing THE RUM DIARY, his only truly fictional work, a beautiful paean to the pointlessness of trying to do anything in a country full of oppressive heat, violent locals, and an ungodly amount of warm rum.

And now there’s a movie coming out, just a few weeks, yes, and it will be everything myself and all the Gonzo fans have been waiting for.

Bruce Robinson is directing. He wrote the script, perhaps one of the finest scripts I’ve ever read and that’s saying a lot seeing as I’m mostly a professional reader of middling stature. It keeps all the dark playfulness of the book, the twisted individuals who hopped that plane hoping for their second chance after rock bottom claimed their first. The visuals of a wild, foreign Puerto Rico as opposed to the plastic territory most people see today. The push and pull between legitimacy and bullshitting, between the people with the money and the power and the people with the wisdom and the cool influence. Even more, Robinson's classic WITHNAIL AND I is best described as FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS set in England with drug abuse replaced by rampant alcoholism and the search for the American dream replaced by the simple search for reprieve from the pain of life.  Robinson was set to direct the original FEAR AND LOATHING movie but said it would be impossible so it turned to Terry Gilliam to pull together one of the most brilliant adaptations to screen ever seen. This is his second chance. He knows the characters, knows the writer, knows the dynamic. He will not let us down.

The book has no real plot; some cast-aside notion about a love triangle and the push pull of malcontents against hapless higher management so a driving force had to be added to the movie. The conflict centers on Paul Kemp, the center knot in a tug of war between selling out to the fatbacks for a life of glamorous wealth and the maintenance of journalistic and artistic integrity. This is an idea that must be addressed in this twisted modern era and HST himself would have approved of Robinson’s construct.

Depp is back as the good Doctor. And with a cast that includes Aaron Eckhart, Giovanni Ribisi, a love triangle over Amber Heard (remember the hot high school girl from PINEAPPLE EXPRESS?) and Mr. Doback from STEPBROTHERS, this will be one goddamn visually, emotionally, and artistically satisfying romp.

WARNING: THIS IS NOT FEAR AND LOATHING! If you expect to see rampant hallucinogen abuse and apes, high-powered automobiles and drug-addled knife-wielding massive Brown Buffalo Samoans asking to be electrocuted, you will be confused. This is a story about a man. At the end of the road but hoping a simple flight will get him onto a newer, better one. A noble ambition, to be sure. But this quest is full of warm rum, tropical violence, and the great losers of the Caribbean press. A nice place to stay and rest before figuring out what comes next. And even more beautiful when you think that what came next was the birth of Gonzo, one of the most creative, wild, inspirational, and mind-blowingly memorable voices in modern literature.

Still, I’m thinking due to the conservative nature of thie country on the whole and the lack of education plaguing the mainstream this movie, in spite of the fact it’s my most anticipated of the year, will open somewhere around $15 million. And that’s being generous.

Here’s to hoping I’m wrong.

RUM DIARY launches October 28. I expect all you bastards to be there.

Some May Call it a Slugfest - AFC East

Some may call it a slugfest. Others may call it a rumble. And some may call it the biggest rivalry in the NFL. But in actuality, it should be called the beauty bowl. The Patriots and the Jets have the two most attractive individuals at the helm. Brady and Sanchez. Both could offer services as male models. One has a model for a wife; the other is probably juggling more models than Victoria’s Secret. Either way, the Patriots vs Jets is a strong rivalry. Also, this division has the inconsistent Dolphins, and the frighteningly bad Buffalo Bills. Either way, this is a division known more for finesse than hard hits.

New England Patriots

This team is the poster child of winning. How often does a franchise continue to win with most of the team being role players? Just doesn’t make sense unless you have an ice man at the helm and football Genius running things (even if he dresses like a homeless ball sack). Tom Brady is arguably one of the best quarterbacks to play the game. He simply wins and looks good doing it. That said, because of this, there is a vagina vortex that continually moves around him so that one of the NFL’s most marketable players does not get hurt. He is Mr. Fundamental as are their role playing receivers: reliable Wes Welker, Deion Branch, and a more tame Chad Ochocinco. Ocho still brings excitement to the game, but he has lightened his off-field distractions. Look at their other offensive weapons: Rob Gronkowski, Danny Woodhead, and Green-Ellis. No one screams game changer. Their defense is also strong and disciplined and has been underrated for wears. Chung, Mayo, Meriweather, Spikes, and the human 18 wheeler Vince Wilfork; they cause all types of issues to an offense. If Haynesworth loses his Mel Gibson-esque craziness and plays ball the way he can, watch out.

Key players

Brady

Welker

Woodhead

Green-Ellis

Ochocino

Mankin

Defense

Haynesworth

Mayo

Meriweather

Chung

NY Jets

Buy me a ticket for an airplane. Ain’t no time to take a fast train.

The jive-talking, egotistical jets provide a slew of off-field enjoyment. That said, can they ever win the big with Sanchize at the helm? I will finally admit that he is a solid QB and can occasionally have masterful games. He can also have games that make you want to release all your bowels at once. That is why he is not in the Top 15 QB’s in the league. Now, if there is any year for him to have a break-out, this is it. With the streaker Santonio “Super-Bowl Legend” Holmes, the ever-reliable D. Mason, and the resurgent Plaxico Burress, he has enough weapons. If he can maintain his connection with Dustin Keller, and they continue to open up secondaries with the run stylings of Greene and hall of famer Tomlinson, he has no excuses. Besides that, Fergusen is a solid tackle, and Mangold is the best center in the game. Their defense is stellar as always. They fly high and hit hard. They have probably the best group of linebackers in the game with Scott, Harris, Pace, and Thomas. Their secondary is even better with Revis land of isolation, Cromartie the baby snatcher, and Jim Leonard. This is one team who is not afraid of anyone.

Key Players

Sanchez

Holmes

Mason

Greene

Keller

Mangold

Defense

Comartie

Revis

Scott

Harris

Pace

Dolphins

I can’t get no respect.

For a Franchise who made the Wildcat cool and it lead them to the playoffs, this team has probably the lamest fan base in the game. Los Angeles is pretty NBA heavy, but they also care about baseball. Miami’s fan base is so soft that all they care about is basketball. The Marlins won a championship and are occasional contenders, the Dolphins have a strong history and a young but fun team to watch, and no one gives a shit. Granted their win total might be low but with explosive players like Marshall and Bush, they could provide some highlights. That said, at this point of Bush’s career he has to live up to the hype he had coming from college or he will be demoted to a special teamer for life. Fasano was a Notre Dame Legend and is trying segue into NFL Stardom. Chad Henne has potential to be good but his receiving core really consists of Brandon Marshall. They also have an up and coming O-line with Locker, Columbo, Pouncey, and Icognito.  Their defense will also be allowing other offenses to be on the highlight real as they really do not have anyone elite. Yeremiah Bell is a high level safety and Karlos Dansby can make some plays, but they do not cover the entire defense. Think towards the future here.

Key Players

Marshall

Henne

Bush

Locker

Icognito

Defense

Dansby

Bell

Davis

Buffalo bills

The bottom-dwellers of the AFC East, the AFC, and maybe even the NFL, they have nothing more than an intelligent QB with no skills. Sure they have young, talented receivers in Johnson, Parrish, and Jones,  but the loss of speedster Lee Evans could cause them with some Issues. Their QB is Wicked Smart from Harvard but he does not have an NFL cannon. The good thing is that you have a solid run game with Fred Jackson and the potential game time player in C.J. Spiller. Now on defense, they fare a little better with Barnett Davis at LB and Edwards and Williams on the line. If Shaun Merriman plays like old he could be lights out again but his body at this point has shriveled to an injury-prone steroid induced shell. Watch out first pick in next year’s draft, you could be coming to a snow covered city, population no one.

Key Players

Fitpatrick

Spiller

Parrish

Johnson

Jackson

Defense

Barnett

Davis

Williams

Edwards

AFC South

Hot Read

The statement that the NFL is becoming a QB league has been ingrained in every sports enthusiast brain. We get it. The act of throwing is not difficult. It’s not even the hardest position to play in football. We hear you Cornerbacks. But goddamn, it is the most important position in sports. Look at the statistics from last week. A rookie throwing for more than 400 hundreds, Brady dissecting a defense for over 500 hundreds, and a slew of other QB’s with 2 or more TD’s and over the 400 mark. The spread offenses, the trick plays, and the quality of QB’s in the league correlates to defenses turning over and taking it up the ass. Because of this, I have decided to make two lists of QB’s. Fuck this new QB rating, screw the numbers; this comes down to wins, grit, and skill.

 Quarterbacks that you love to hate. Here are the top five QB’s that your team does not want to go against. These people are the talent and can make or break your soul. And for those of you who do not love sports like I do, I have given them an actor who  they resemble:

1.       Aaron Rodgers-Matt Damon

It was just a few years ago when the Favre controversy began. There was a lot of anger from the Cheese head diehards. They owe everyone an apology. Rodgers was flawless in the playoffs. He gets the Matt Damon vote. Everyone knew he would do well, but is now really on fire. Matt Damon might be the hottest actor out there like Rodgers in the hottest QB in the league.

2.       Tom Brady- Brad Pitt

The looker. He has now been around for awhile and is still the face of the NFL. This man wins, puts up numbers, and essentially can dominate whenever he wants. Brad Pitt’s movies always open strong as does Tom Brady.

3.       Peyton Manning-Lucky Leo DiCaprio

The most consistent player on the field, he dominates the game when healthy. This year is an anomaly. One more ring and he will be considered the greatest QB of all time. Everyone wants to see anything and everything he's in. You just stare in amazement.

4.       Ben Roethlisberger-Christian Bale

This guy beats the shit out of his body and keeps coming back. Roethlisberger can play anyone in any circumstance and can win.  Whether Bale is playing a crack head brother, John Connor, Batman, or Patrick Bateman, he puts on a performance. Big Ben is a winner and does not understand any other way.

5.       Philip Rivers- Johnny Depp

Personality wise, they are as different as can be. Philip rivers is the intense firecracker and Depp is the relax, weed smoking ‘dude’. Besides this, there is no better correlation. Philip Rivers is underrated, because his entire career has consisted of a team that ends up faltering. Like him, the Depper doesn’t get his due credit because he does not do traditional Blockbusters, or does not take marketable roles…until now. That said, both consistently perform at a top level. Plus, Philip River’s half-cocked weird toss is nothing short of Depp’s questionable movie selections

Others

Drew Brees-Clooney-Still affective

Michael Vick-Rourke-Biggest comeback ever?

Tony Romo-Downey Jr. With all of the off field turmoil from years past everyone forgets he’s a good player.

Joe Flacco-Renner-When will he get his due credit?

Matt Ryan-Reynolds-People love to love him even after he destroys your team

Alright, so if you don’t agree with this list, then go fuck yourself. Or tell us why. Of course I left off the legends in the game such as the Day-Lewis’s, Hank’s, Bridges, and Cruises of the world, but that's because this is the list of now. Maybe, I’ll make a list comparing the greats next.

-Kyle

The Gloves Are Off - AFC North

AFC North

This division contains the biggest rivalry in football. There are longer rivalries and ones with more history, but when the Ravens play the Steelers, people truly get fucked up. It seems that recently it has been an epic battle for the AFC North. The last few years, there has been an immense amount of shit talk, people getting fucked up, and a meeting in the playoffs. These games come down to the end and are usually separated by 3 points. If anyone disagrees, look at the second regular reason game between the two teams. Heap-Concusion,Suggs-bloody lip, Rothlisberger- bloody nose. These two teams play the way football is supposed to be played. Hard hitting, no holds bar, pedal to the metal, slug fest.

Cleveland Browns

They will not be the worst team in this division. They will once again sit snuggly in that third place spot. Not good enough to get a preferred meal, but also not the runt. They have the potential in this system and with the personnel they have to play the spoiler throughout the season; a potential quarterback of the future in Colt McCoy. Not only does he have the abilities and the intelligence to make an impact, he might be the only quarterback with a hotter woman than Tom Brady. They have the old corn fed, great white hype rusher in Peyton Hillis, and maybe the most dynamic player in the division Joshua Cribbs. The biggest questions are the receivers. Ben Watson is a solid Tight end and it’s going to be interesting what Robiskie does, but there will be no consistency. Does Cribbs have the hands to be a top tier receiver? Seeing how his bread and butter kick return game has been stolen from him like a fat chick stealing food, they will need to find ways to get him the ball. Don’t invite him to Vick’s house.

Key Players-

Joshua Cribbs

Colt McCoy

Joe Thomas

Tony Pashos

Peyton hills

Defense

Sheldon Brown

That’s actually it.

Cincinnati Bengals

No journalist really wants to waste time writing about them. They simply suck. They have some potential and each and every year they manage to squish that potential. Their inability to consistently produce winners is similar to Nick Cage. A career of mixed results. I mean, did anyone even see DRIVE ANGRY? Gone is the circus show surrounding OchoCinco. For god sakes, Carson Palmer is willing to throw away millions. Their owner almost makes you wish you had Al Davis running the show. Their leading rusher Cedric Benson is like a NASCAR race. Sooner or later he is going to breakdown and it will not be pretty. Their receivers are young, but there is some talent there in Simpson, Caldwell, Green, and Jordan Shipley. With these young receivers, mixed with a young QB in Andy Dalton, this will be one hell of year.

The one bright side is they have strong corners in Nate Clements and Leon hall, and a beast of an MLB in Ray Maguahufjdhkjhfkhkfh. Too bad they are going to go through an entire seasons worth of work in the first month. They will be more burnt out than Snoop Dogg

Key Players

Colt Mccoy

Cedric Benson

AJ Green

Defense

Ray Maulaluga

Nate Clements

Leon Hall

Robert Gaethers

Baltimore Ravens

Is this the year they grab the crown? Each and every year, their expectations are Super Bowl and every year they fail to reach the final game. This team may be young, but in no way are they rebuilding. Sure they are developing a core of young Talent. With two young stud TE’s drafted last year, two receivers this year, Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, and a young line, they are ready to contend and making sure they contend for a long time. This offense will be unstoppable if the line ends up playing even at a mediocre level.

Their defense should be within the top five this year. They have beefed up their front seven over the last few years and want to make that dismal number 27 (sacks) a thing of the past. Besides that they have a plethora of young corners with Foxworth, Carr, Webb, and the potential two starters in Williams and Smith. I will not forget Ed Reed and Ray Lewis …Enough said

Key Players

Joe Flacco

Ray Rice

Anquan Boldin

Lee Evans

Ed Dickson

Defense

Ray Lewis

Haloti Ngata

Terrell Suggs

Ed Reed

Jarret Johnson

Pittsburgh Steelers

Should we be sending them to the Geriatric hospital? Sooner or later they will be showing their age, but the question is when – though after last Sunday perhaps that’s been answered. They have dominated the AFC North and essentially the AFC over the last few years. Their QB wins games and is probably the most underrated QB in the game. The best way to describe him is how Dennis Reynolds describes himself. “I’m a winner. As a winner, I do not understand words like no, don’t, stop. It’s just not in our vocabulary.” He gets accolades, but if anyone watched the Ravens-Steelers game last year, he lead them to a comeback with a broken nose and a fucked up ankle that should have won gutsiest play of the season. With the Cheshire Cat Hines Ward and the human bullet Mike Wallace, he has some targets. I mean this team made it the AFC championship with an o-line more suitable for flag football.

On Defense, they never let down. With Mr. “I insure my hair” Troy Palamalu, James “I’m Ignorant” Harrison and a beast of another linebacker in Lamar Woodley, they will contend again. They have two corners that are as inconsistent as Lindsey Lohans sobriety in Ike Tayler and Bryant McFadden. 

Key players

Ben Roethlisberger

Hines Ward

Heath Miller

Maurice Pouncey

Rashard Mendenhall

Defense

Lamar Woodley

Troy Palamalu

James Harrison

Brett Keisel

MONEY shot in the BALLs

MONEYBALL, coming to theaters near you, is not a sports movie, at least not in the traditional, saccharine quest that’s come to define the genre. Think THE NATURAL. MIGHTY DUCKS. MIRACLE. Even ANY GIVEN SUNDAY. Because this movie isn’t about the heart of the athlete or even the coach, not really. And it’s not about some athlete who goes from nobody to somebody. It’s about the numbers, pure and simple.

To start off I hate baseball. Everybody always yells at me “But it’s America’s national pastime”. To that I say so is slavery and imperialism. Baseball I find to be filled with this nostalgic whimsy that directs people’s attention from the fact that it’s the slowest activity to be called “a sport” in the history of mankind.  It romanticizes this sport, romanticizes the 1 moment when a round ball flies by a Neanderthal club, romanticizes the heart in the player who comes out of retirement after being near-fatally shot by some crazy broad to fill the world with hope (though in the book THE NATURAL gives in the gamblers because after he hits that home run, what the fuck is he gonna do? Hopefully just disappear for all the fans care). And that’s the point Billy Beane, to be played by a phenomenal Brad Pitt, tries to drive home – throwing the romance aside, this “sport” can be reduced to little more than numbers, an equation acted out by human beings instead of digits and ASMD symbols.

But even more, iMONEYBALL’s about Man’s Ambition to disprove the old lore surrounding this sport. To fight against the establishment. That should be any great man’s goal – to subvert the powers that be, to revolutionize atavistic systems, and to tell the old codgers who’ve been scampering through the same rut since the Civil War that their time is up.

It’s harsh, sure, but that’s the reality this film drives home. And hell, such was the process of making the movie, a superman quest running through 6 writers and 2 directors, various manifestations of supporting cast, and even switching from being more realistic and documentary to being restructured and redefined into a biopic non-baseball-fans, like myself, might even watch.

I can see Brad Pitt as Billy Beane. Jonah Hill will kill it as Peter Brand (formerly Paul DePodesta, fictionalized in the quest to make him seem more real), and Chris Pratt will make a decent Hatteberg, the only character who has a traditional “personal victory” sports moment. Not sure I’m feeling Philip Seymour Hoffman as Art Howe – would need to be a bit gruffer, tougher, in my opinion – but, as always, you can’t him out since Hoffman is possibly the best actor in the current world.

This will probably be a baseball player’s movie – apparently Hill was told these people talk about baseball like he talks about movies and he studied up accordingly so be ready for that. And the stat-trading in pro athletes is a much greater national pastime than the old round ball and bat.

On the other side, when was the last time a sports movie that wasn’t a character study on fighters got attention? If any can break that streak, it’s MONEYBALL.

I’m predicting an open in the low to mid 20 millions. Not bad. But then again, with the cast, anything’s possible, right? Let’s have some heart and forget the numbers. Or maybe not . . . 

- Ryan