As men, we are mostly impervious to our emotions, but as humans we are stuck in a world in which we are forced to have feelings unconditionally. Obviously, some individuals are more in touch with their thoughts and feelings, while others push them down inside the deep abyss that is their heart and souls. Unless a ‘dude’ is comfortable with another, the dynamic between the two is very superficial. Sports, food, getting laid, and alcohol maintain a majority of the conversation, but there are also other variations of male banter that might include politics, Entertainment, and technology. While these are known as topics that revolve around “Guy talk” they don’t full encompass what it means to be a true “bro”. This is one of the biggest secrets in mandom. What it means to have a bro.
You can say dicks before chicks, bro’s before ho’s, blame the girl, etc. The bottom line is that true “boys” will, for better or for worse, be there. Each provides their own level of camaraderie. In the NFL, the QB will take out his offensive line to a huge steak dinner that usually runs between $10-$20 G’s. Even the gaudy Chad Ochocinco, who had a terribleyear by anyone’s standards, bought his team $28,000 worth of Beats on Dre headphones as a thank you for allowing him to hang on their coattails for a first time trip to the Superbowl. In other sports, usually a MVP will take out the rest of the team to a meal as they understand they couldn’t be where they are without the others. While most males do not have the financial security to shower other males with lavish gifts, the standard gesture would be taking a friend out for drinks, meet a fellow dude to watch sports, or take him out for a steak dinner. That said, to be a true bro, it is not what you do, but how you interact with him. It is being comfortable enough to take off that bulletproof vest of testosterone and discuss everything that’s in your mind and soul. It comes in variations, whether it’s your roommate, your friends growing up, your father, or like myself, all of the above and especially my brother.
I got the idea to write this article due to a conversation I had with a good friend of mine growing up. We were extremely close in high school and during college we maintained that friendship for as long as possible until his move post-graduation to his current location on the other side of the US . We still talk, very infrequently, and for short spurts thank you to social media, but it’s not the same. We had a very strong group of friends, but he and I had similarities unrelated to the rest of our crew such as an affinity for extreme sports, punk music, getting tattoos, and the whole idea that security is not the be all/end all of life. We were basically the only two who moved beyond a stone’s throw from home. So the other morning, he messaged me that after a few years of dating, he’d found out that this satanic succubus had cheated on him. We talked about how she’d manipulated him into being this sort of plastic creature who disliked everything that made him who he was and that, at this point, he needed his crew. He was in a city that he actually did like, but it had transformed him, and what I got from the conversation is that he needed a crew that he could explain his thoughts and feelings to. He knew that Myself, Eric, or Halt would be there right then and throw out the surface-based dude talk and actually listen to what he had to say. Whether it was pain, anger, or despair he needed to express, we’d drop everything in our lives to listen to his emotions, do what we could to make this transition he was going through easier.
After talking to him, it’s rather obvious that this monster of a whore led him to a life that he did not want to live. While there are a lot of women out there who will treat you well, there are also those who will dangle that string of sex in order to change the spirit inside of you and that had happened to him. From what I’ve seen and heard, this woman will most likely end up in a ditch while my boy has the ability to do something great with his life. He is extremely intelligent, hard-working, and charismatic enough to understand that he will be able to prevail from this state of fog that he has been living in. He was stung and as Ed Reed said during the half-time of the Miami game, “I’m hurt dog, don’t ask me if I’m hurt”, but I think after a “bro” session, he was able to comprehend that he is well better off without her. It’s an extremely different dynamic from the woman friend relationship, as more often women wear their feelings and emotions somewhat on their sleeves. Their banter related to these characteristics lose some of their worth since it’s always put out there but with a bro, these are seldom discussed and therefore more valued. We all need our confidants, and our bros, since whether or not people think it, men, like women, need to be able to put their emotions out to those who can relate The difference between men and women is that after this emotional discussion takes place, men talk about the interests above, while usually women continue to talk about their feelings. It is a given that women are in tune with their emotions, but it is also true that males are too, though we’re expected to keep them in, deal with them ourselves. Because of this, having a fellow bro with whom you can discuss your emotions, somebody who you can be weak in front of, is invaluable if you ever are to be a true man of consequence.
- Kyle
No comments:
Post a Comment