Visions of London: Olympic Events You Know Nothing About (Serving the Cock)

When I think of badminton, I'm reminded of playing in a backyard while drinking beers at a barbeque with individuals ranging between the ages of 18-60. They also range from being in prime shape to having undergone countless joint surgeries or wildly obese. The standard outfit is usually khaki shorts and some sort of polo shirt and in no way have I or anyone else I know played this sport in a truly competitive environment. Sure, there are country club or homemade tournaments, but I don't recall anyone playing for their schools, on a national, or even an international level . This is why it's so hard to grasp the realization that there is not only a badminton federation, but it's also an Olympic sport. I mean, what's the prize if you win a badminton event? A $20 gift card to Outback Steakhouse? A chance to train for a real sport like tennis? Either way, someone out there likes it because it is an Olympic sport and somewhat popular in Asian countries; then again, ping pong is huge over there as well. I will say this, though, that it has probably the best name for any piece of the equipment, the infamous shuttlecock.

Ok so badminton does necessitate lightening quick reflexes as the shuttlecock (snicker) can travel in excess of 248 MPH. So maybe it's not as terrible of a sport as I had previously insinuated. But honestly, there is a reason that tennis is more popular and it has nothing to do with the speed of the cock. I’m sure there are a lot of World of Warcraft, out of shape individuals, who can quickly move from one key to their mouse. Either way, here are some details:

Basics:

Competition datesSaturday 28 July – Sunday 5 August

Competition venueWembley Arena

Number of medal eventsFive: men’s Singles, women’s Singles, men’s Doubles, women’s Doubles and Mixed Doubles.

Number of competitors172: 86 men and 86 women
Each country is limited to three athletes in each Singles event and two pairs (four athletes) in each Doubles event, dependent on their position in the world ranking list of 3 May 2012 that determines qualification.

Rules

Matches are played over the best of three games. Each game is won by the first player or doubles pair to reach 21 points by a margin of two clear points. However if the score reaches 29-29, the winner of the next point wins the game.

During a game when the leading score reaches 11 there is a 60-second interval. When the leading score reaches 11 in the third game, players change ends.

In the Singles game, if the server wins the point he/she continues to serve. If he/she loses the point, serve goes to the opposition. Players serve from alternate sides of the court – the left if their score is even, the right if it's odd.

In the Doubles game, one player serves (alternating from the left or right as in the Singles game) until he/she loses a point and the serve goes to the opposition. When serve is regained, the other player on the team becomes the server

So now that you know something about a sport that you probably won’t watch, let’s figure out the top players. The Chinese dominate as 3 of the top four ranked badminton players in the world are from there and they simply ran shit at the Beijing Olympics. That said, the second best is a Malaysian and thus, I feel that it's only fitting to talk about Malaysia's only potential gold winner. And for the woman’s game, yes there is a woman Wang Yihan

Lee Chong Wei- Ok, so this is Malaysia’s only chance of getting a gold medal. He's a solid player and while second in the world currently, he's still an underdog. Do you know who else was an underdog and played a very odd sport? Peter LaFleur from Dodgeball. I mean both sports in my opinion are more recreational than competitive and Lee is going against a juggernaut known as China, while Peter led a squad against the highly favored Globo Gym. I also do not think there's any movie or anyone famous in the history of the world who can be associated with badminton so, this is the best I can do.

Wang Yihan- Of course she's from China and is currently dominating the world with her power and cat-like reflexes so what female matches this? Well none, but in one episode of the Simpsons, Marge plays Badminton with Manjula so let’s go with that.

Doesn't this get you excited for the Olympics?

- Kyle