Visions of London: Olympic Events You Know Nothing About, Week 10 (How to include Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Caddyshack in the same Article)

So this will be my last article about the Olympic games besides possibly a recap of sports you actually do know and care about. Either way, I hope these articles have helped you on your way towards a brain full of random and useless facts. Seeing how we have several sports left that simply no one knows or gives a shit about, I’ve decided to provide some quick insight for your reading pleasure regarding two of them.

I’ve decided that, while there are several sports left, I'll go with two sports that nobody likes but are interesting, Trampoline and Synchronized Swimming. I’m not saying that either is easy. In fact, quite the contrary. If you've ever been swimming, you can appreciate the fact that these individuals not only tread water for a very long time, they also have the ability to control their bodies floating in a substance that give just barely more push back than air. With trampolinining, how hard is it control your body in the air? For those of us who aren’t gymnasts or extreme sports athletes, it’s pretty damn hard.

Synchronized Swimming

My real question is how do you become an Olympic synchronized swimmer?  All of a sudden you get caught up in a Flash Swim Mob and someone notices you? Maybe you're the progeny of Aquaman, a mermaid, or Poseidon and thus born to dance in the water. Either way, it does take some solid talent and a helluva lot of practice.

Details

Competition dates

Sunday 5 August to Friday 10 August 

Competition venue

Olympic Park – Aquatics Centre

Number of medal events

2 - Duet competition and Team competition.

Number of competitors

Synchronized Swimming is one of two Olympic disciplines in which the competitors are only women (the other is Rhythmic Gymnastics). The eight countries with entrants in both the Duets and the Teams events are limited to nine athletes in total, from which two compete in the Duets event and eight compete in the Teams event. The remaining 16 countries compete only in the Duets event and are limited to two athletes.

Lingo

Back layout – a position in which the swimmer holds herself flat and face up on the water’s surface while sculling.

Deckwork – the initial movements performed by swimmers after the music starts but before they enter the water.

Eggbeater – powerful way of treading water that allows the swimmer to perform arm movements while staying afloat. 

Scull – underwater hand movements designed to move and support the body in the pool.

Scoring

The Judges take into account several elements. In the technical routine, one panel judges the execution, including the required elements. The other panel is looking at the overall impression: choreography, synchronization, difficulty and manner of presentation.

In the free routine, the technical merit judges score the difficulty and execution of strokes/movements as well as the synchronization of the swimmers. The other panel is looking at artistic impression, which includes choreography, music interpretation and manner of presentation

Best Team

 

RUSSIA - Right now Russia, of all countries, dominates this sport. It’s fucking nuts that the home of Ivan Drago, a cold, desolate, and rough country best known for freezing its opponents to death in its home turf during all its great wars is so powerful in a water sport. When I think of Russia, I think of snow, ice, vodka, and warm fuzzy hats, not swimming. Unlike the Caribbean, I’m never like “Jeez, for vacation, I want to go to the beautiful beaches of Russia” I mean, look at Rocky IV? During the 2011 World Aquatic Championships, though, Russia took Gold medals in Solo Technical Routine, Duet Technical Routine, Team Technical Routine, Solo Free Routine, Free Routine Combination, Duet Free Routine, and Team Free Routine. I mean, holy fuck. It seems like they basically won every medal besides Canada, who apparently won one. So when I think of synchronized swimming, is there any movie that contains a more random yet enjoyable scene than Caddyshack? It didn't make sense, but goddamn is it special.

                                               Trampoline 

When I think of a trampoline, my mind races to doing flips during cool summer night in someone’s backyard. I might add that I was usually kind of sauced and would throw my body around mercilessly without regard to my own health or wellbeing. Little did I know I was theoretically training for the Olympics. I mean, it's similar to Gymnastics, only if a gymnast fucks up it can lead to paralysis or even death. If a trampolinist lands wrong, their surface has a lot of give which leads to a quick recovery. Essentially, they're fine unless they fall off the trampoline and if they do that then they simply have no right being in the Olympics. I wonder if the ‘popcorn’ move is considered a ‘technical’ move? It’s like a cartoon when the main character should be dead but shows up in the next scene. I’m looking at you Wiley coyote.

That said, it's pretty damn fun to watch these guys jump as if they have rockets firmly placed in their butt cheeks and seeing how much control they have in the air. If you have vertigo or get nauseous from quick movements, then this is not the sport for you.

Details

Competition dates

Friday 3 – Saturday 4 August

Competition venue

North Greenwich Arena

Number of medal events

Two – men’s and women’s competition

Number of competitors

32: 16 men and 16 women.

Each country is limited to two men and two women

Field of play

The field of play contains two trampolines next to each other, 2m apart and both just 10m away from the judging panel. Each trampoline is 5.05m long, 2.91m wide and 1.155m high. The bed is woven from strips that are less than 6mm thick, and is attached to the frame with more than 100 steel springs.

Judged

Gymnasts perform a series of 10 skill routines, with a variety of single, double and triple somersaults with and without twists. Precise technique and perfect body control are vital for success, with judges delivering marks for difficulty, execution and time of flight, minus penalties. Athletes are judged against a strict set of criteria where every part of the routine must be as near to perfection as possible. The angle of the limbs, the position of the feet, the moves and finish must all be of the highest standard

So who the hell are the best trampolinists in the world? The Chinese, like all of the sports that require some sort of Gymnastic prowess, of course dominate this event.

Lu Chunlong - China- This guy has dominated the sport for the last few years and there's no reason why he can’t continue his reign. He got a Gold in the Beijing Olympics for Trampoline Individual, a Gold in the 2011 World Championships, and several other medals that I have no desire to name. How can anyone compare to this physical specimen? Well, there is one “Righteous Dude” who managed to play hooky from school successfully by narrowly beating his parents home with the help of a trampoline.  After having the greatest day in high school history, Ferris Bueller, had to use this bouncy canvas backyard fixture to catapult himself over a fence in order to get home before his parents had any clue he'd left. It's maybe the most epic double-bounce in world history.

So there you have it - 10 posts, 11 events you might not have even known existed much less how they worked and who dominates. Hopefully this knowledge serves you well for the next two weeks and then uselessly sits in your skull forever.

- Kyle